Need advice about emotionally unavailable man. What should I do?

Background: Im at 26 year old female in established career. He is 26 year old male finishing out law school.

Problem: We had been dating for 1.5 months at that time he mentioned he was 7 months out of an engagement where the girl called it off because she never really loved him. He states between school, the impending bar, and the past engagement that he is not emotionally available for a realtionship at that time but feels he could be in the future. At that time I was ok with that and told him that right now we hadn't been dating for long and lets continue dating and having fun with the dating process. We slept together about a week later. We are now dating for ~3 months and have been sexually exclusive (yes we talked about sexual exclusivity). He still does not feel emotionally available for a relationship and feels that because he will soon be starting bar prep he feels he can't give me the time he feels I will want. He states he wants to continue seeing me because he enjoys spending time with me.

-Continue dating and see where it goes still? He may be more open following finishing law school and passing the bar.
- Just completely end it and cut my losses because he should know by now.
-Tell him "I feel that you need to be alone right now to figure out what you want. I care for you very deeply and because I care for you this way I only want what is best for you and I need you to fgure out what makes you happy; even if its not with me. I deserve someone who can give me 100% and so do you. It is not fair to either of us to continue on like we have. I hope you figure out what you want and need to make you feel ready. If that ends up being with me I hope I will still be available because I don't want anyone else but I know I deserve someone who can give me what I need to be happy."

I feel like option 3 is the right choice but I dont want to lose him; it would break my heart. I am not "hungry for a relationship" but also I know my worth.

I care very deeply for him head over heels. He checks off boxes I didn't even know I needed in a partner. Despite only dating for 3 months I know I am completely and utterly in love with him. He makes me a better person. I am a happy go lucky person by nature but it was brought to a whole new level when he entered my life. We have the same morals and values as well as goals we want for our future. We have already spoken about how many kids we want and what kind of parents we will be.
PLEASE everyone. I really need some clarity


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What Guys Said 1

  • The third option seems appropriate, but I have a feeling you'll end up choosing option one. Your update suggests that you would prefer to risk remaining with him with possibility of change further down the road rather than part ways.

    • no I think I've decided on option 3 despite the fact that I care for him deeply I only want his happiness and asking him to promise something down the line is just putting pressure on the situation. I want someone to want me because they want to not because they feel obliged

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