Girls, How am I supposed to convince my current girlfriend that I'm just friends with my ex?

Long story short: I met a girl in high school, dated her for about 5 years, we were extremely close and we had so much shit in common (liked the same music, both musicians, both artistic, like the same film/tv, like to cook, etc..) and I really loved her, but I ultimately told her to choose her family because family is family. If you're wondering why she had to choose between me and her parents, well it's because I'm black, she's Japanese American, Asians are pretty racist toward blacks (even to darker Asians much less) and they threatened to cut her off and not pay for her to attend college as soon as the word marriage was mentioned, thanks racism. And still it aches my heart because we were actually weighing the options and she was contemplating staying with me but I wouldn't have been able to live with or forgive myself if the reason she had to struggle was because of me so I just told her to forget it.

Fast forward and she's pretty much like my sister, even though we have new partners, we hang out a lot because we still have all those things in common with each other. My new girl won't come directly out and say it, but she thinks I'm still in love with my ex, and I do, but now it's as a sister figure and she doesn't get that, she'll beat around the bush until we get close to having a discussion about it and then she gets passive, she's open to talk at sometimes more than others. She obviously knows we used to date but I've told her numerous times that she's just a really good friend. And I really like this new girl too, and I show just as much affection as I did toward my ex to my new girlfriend but I mean come on, I'm not just going to suddenly change my attitude toward the girl I used to love like and treat her like shit now just because you think I'm still in love with her.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Your going to be very hard pressed to find a girlfriend who will accept you behaving this way. You make adjustments with your friends when it comes to partners - you don't need to treat them like shit but you can scale back on the affection, private communication and so on. Bring your girlfriend into the friendship so she can see there is nothing going on