Advice on avoiding freeloading first dates?

As a man I don't expect a 1st date to fuck me. It occassionally happens, but I don't count on it. However if I do expect a girl to at least a modicum of romantic interest in me if I'm spending money on her.

Anyway I just went on a first date with a girl I met on tinder. I got her to laugh and I noticed she was talking and very responsive to everything I text/said over the phone. It was a quick set up... but I wanted to be the bold handsome stranger to sweep her of her feet.

So I had an uber pick her and take her to my place. I invited her up for a drink which she readily accepted and we talked, joked and kidded around for about an hour. I was polite and careful not to come on too heavy after I just met her and invited her in my unit so quickly. I didn't do anything for her to label me a creep (no sexual comments, no staring, no direct touching). I then got an uber to a live jazz club. We had several drinks, told more jokes and had a really good time. She even started elbowing me when she noticed something (good sign if the girl is touching... even lightly hitting me.. at least as I'm told). I gave her a brief huge at one point. Absolutely nothing in her body language showed she didn't enjoy it. We closed out after the live music. It was very nice night. I got us an uber cab back to my place. My plan was I would invite her up for a drink and joke around a bit. From there I would read her vibe. If she wanted to make out great, if she wanted to get down very great, if she wanted to go home I would respect that. However I had no doubt in my mind she would come up to my place.

She shocked me by wanted to go home right away. I said I wasn't planning on doing anything, but wanted to spend more time. Instead she insisted on going back home.

So I got suckered to being charity for meals/attention. Advice on avoiding this? Didn't see this one coming.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She didn't feel comfortable going back into your place. I fail to see how there is anything wrong with that. You don't have to pay for everything on a first date. Especially when it's a tinder date. Besides I don't care if you spent thousands of dollars on someone they owe you nothing.

    • How convenient of you say "they owe you nothing". I take it you have likely mooched off plenty of guys. Your part of the problem.

    • Show All
    • I'm part of the problem. I've paid for enough dates thanks. I don't go out with people and expect them to pay for me. I've picked them up I've driven to meet them there. I don't think it's fair that one person pays for everything. But at no point does anyone owe you a damn thing. She doesn't have to kiss you. She could go out with you and have good intentions and then realize she's not interested at all. Why would she kiss you or go any further with you. If you don't want to pay for everything then don't.

    • Tinders is for trash. That's why it's different.

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