Should I pay for her if we just started hanging out?

I met this girl at at work, she's a pretty girl and I told her we should hangout sometime. so if its me and her and we go out to some place to eat or something else should I pay for her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well...there are two separate questions:

    1) Are you expected to pay?

    2) Should you pay?

    For the first question, it really depends. I've found that culturally it varies a lot in different cities, different locations. In some places and situations, if you're going out casually, she'll just assume that you're going to split the bill. At other times, she'll expect you to pay. And yet, in other situations, she may want to pay if she asked you out. Your friends in your area will probably have a better idea of what is the standard there.

    You should always bring enough money so that you can pay for both of you, because sometimes you end up deciding at the last moment.

    To answer the 2nd question, the answer is usually yes. Even if it makes you seem a little old-fashioned and she doesn't expect it, it's usually to your advantage to be that way. Truth is, she probably doesn't know whether you'll pay or not, but if she thinks there's even a 10% chance you will, you should.

    You don't want to make a big thing out of it though. If you go to a restaurant, the trick is to quickly and smoothly pay the server before she has a chance to contemplate splitting the bill. Sometimes you can tell the server in advance to make it smoother, or even go up and pay the bill before the server brings it to you.

    It becomes much more awkward if she starts pulling out money in front of you indicating that she intends to split it, and then you have to either let her or go out of your way to tell her that you want to pay the full thing.

    Another trick is to use a credit card. Not only does it make the whole transaction smoother (you can pay the bill immediately and then figure out the tip later), but it gives you a good alibi in case she was really expecting the bill to be split...because it's easier to just put the whole bill on one credit card. That puts the ball entirely in her court...and it becomes her decision whether she feels she needs to pay you back or not.

    Be forewarned that she herself may try any of these tricks. Paying the bill is an artform in itself.

    One last thing...about the's okay to let her pay part or all of the tip, especially if she expressed concern about your paying for everything else. Assuming you're not loaded with money, and you're just casually hanging out, she probably is somewhat concerned about you breaking your piggybank over her.


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What Girls Said 2

  • you should pay for the first few dates and am sure she will pay for others or share the bill. that depends on the girl. I prefer to pay from the second date at least or start sharing the bill.

    • Its not a date though

    • Ok, but there is no harm in paying for the first one. I would prefer if my guy friend pays at least for the first one, just be a gentleman.

  • If it's a date pay. If you want to make a good impression on her pay. If its just friends and you don't really care what she thinks then don't pay.


What Guys Said 0

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