Why is it most of the time the guy has to make the first move with a girl?

i am a very shy man so im not very good at starting a convo with random girls when out but why is it that girls dont ask a guy out rather then the other way around juat intrested?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Science actually says that it is women who make the first move, they just don't do the approaching.
    Women will send out hundreds of signals to men they are attracted to in order to encourage him to approach. Whether it be in a bar scene or a long time friendship, once a woman decides she wants you, she will try to make sure you know about it.
    This means that sure, men approach and do the asking but smart men are paying attention to who is sending the right signals. It's not at all about asking some random on the street, it's about waiting for the green light to approach.

    • i have aspergers so crap at social signals so what type of signals do you mean?

    • Some are conscious some are not bit it's the usual Donald everyone lists - blushing, eye contact, smiling, looking away and then looking back, orienting her body towards you, touching you, laughing at your jokes, trying to stand close, etc. Even shy girls can't help but look and blush and smile, it's completely involuntary.

    • Haha- "but it's the usual signals everyone lists"... Don't know about Donald ;)

Most Helpful Guy

  • I used to think it was because women were lazy.

    But now, its because that is the way of the culture. Women are trained to get dressed up and put on a show and its the mans job to do the approaching. The real crime/atrocity is that men are not informed from a young age that this is the case. They aren't trained, educated, and put through the paces to do this.

    This is mostly a modern problem, and stems from feminism, and the advent of the independent woman. But that is a departure from subject.

    Shyness is based in fear, instead of lamenting the world and how it is, work on yourself. Face your fear, and teach yourself the skills you need to initiate conversation, and ask a woman out.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Guys Said 3

  • It's a self defeating circle - guys have to ask out girls because girls expect guys to ask them out because guys are the ones to take more risks because guys have no other choice because girls won't take those risks because guys ask them out because guys have to ask out girls...[repeat]

  • because being superior comes with more work and responsibilities.

    • Show All
    • @idkwtftoputhere females have a hard time accepting truth. i love truth, makes me grow, gives me a proper reference point to do well... just form our thinking patterns you can see it,...

    • yeah that was the laugh of me thinking you're stupid for saying men are superior and you didn't really prove me wrong by making all these sweeping assumptions about me.
      "you will say nonesense, have nothing to say and start bashing me like i got hurt by them when I've dated some hot chicks most men can't get. then you'll go onto say dismissive, insutling statements and ill stay composed and logical and destroy you with research and facts."
      You don't even know me man. I agree double standards exist and yes female privilege does exist in modern western society however you stating "men are superior" is not a fact, it's your own opinion.

  • I'm afraid I will be rejected again and don't know how to approach her next time we're next to each othee

Loading... ;