Girls, A Guy In Need of Some Dating Advice, What Should I Do?

I've been stuck in a little bit of a rut for a while now. Actually a big while lol. I haven't had a relationship with a woman since I was dating the girl whom I thought I was going to marry someday, and this was back in 2011. When our relationship ended it was very traumatic for me. I spent all of 2012 rebuilding myself, and I didn't get full closure until 2014, when we got back in touch with one another, but have since parted ways for the best of both us. Anyway, the last time I was on a date was back in 2012. All I got was a bunch of bad dates and I realized I was just rebounding. So I stopped and focused on myself. I resigned to just being a single guy and felt like I could be content finding fullfilment through my own work and deeds. However, recently I've been feeling more and more lonely. Yes, I have a few close friends (but I've always been more of a social outcast), but no special other to share my life with and likewise her to share her life with me. I've kept trying to bury the feeling of being lonely. I mean my job is pretty solitary, so I don't have the chance to meet new women, and the bar and club scene isn't for me. And all I've had with online dating is one disaster story after another. I've always been a big believer if you're looking for love you'll never find it. I'm kind of at a loss at what I should do. 4 years is the longest I've gone in my adult life without dating. I'm not afraid to admit that fact. I'm not the kind of guy who enjoys sleeping around. I want something sincere and real. But what to do about it? Just bury my emotions and try to forget about it? Or, is there something else?


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What Girls Said 3

  • Hey,
    This is a pretty tough situation. I think you should go out and just enjoy what life has to offer. I am like you as well and don't believe that love will come if your go looking for it. So just go out! enjoy... join a club or go for a hike. Say Hi! to your barista and make conversation. I don't know ask the store clerk if the sauce is good? but don't sulk because someone is out there... and your going to be just fine. Ya know what. your gonna be better then fine :)
    Take care

    • You know when you said "Ask the store clerk if the sauce is good" I thought "that sounds kind of dirty" lol. However, I will remember to say that if I can find an appropriate occasion haha. by the way, I like that alias of yours "badadvice101". XD

    • Show All
    • heya
      I'm sure whoever and whenever you use this innuendo on will have a great laugh and so will you! Girls like something different at times. Its gonna be awesome. I just thought that using my own name would be boring and decided, "Hey why not?" But I hope that most of my
      advice contradicts my username.

      Good luck my friend!! :)

    • Thank you kindly for your "badadvice" ;) I appreciate you taking the time to chime in, and you've made me laugh! I needed that!

  • No , go out and have some fun , be confident and don't worry. You will find your special someone and they will be with you till death do you part. Just believe in yourself and try to be confident in who you are as a person.

    • Thank you for your advice. Every time I step outside I walk in the sun with my head up. That's really all one can do right? But speaking of confidence, I practice ninjitsu martial arts. I'm taking this month off, and I'm thinking on going back next month, but switching over to the sword. My grand master advised me this is something he thinks I'd ve very good at. I'm not that good at the hand-to-hand stuff. And I've been doing it for years, and I haven't gotten better, nor have I gotten worse. I've just settled. That has been hurting my confidence, so I think a change of pace is needed.

    • That's probers oh a good idea. Just make sure your not trying to be someone else because you can't pretend all your life.

    • When I'm on the mat training there is this voice in the back of my head that says "What is wrong with you? Stop pretending to be a warrior we both know you don't belong here". But all my life one of the things I've wanted was to be was a warrior. As a boy I had innocent dreams of pulling the sword from the stone, slaying evil and saving the day. lol I'm not a very big guy, and that's worked to my disadvantage. I've been training for years, and I've accepted while I may not be a good hand-to-hand fighter, I can at least be competent in other areas, like swordsmanship. In fact most of the hand-to-hand techniques are based upon swordsmanship, the dynamics, the movements of the body and the way you use it. Of course I have other dreams of what I want in life too. I also have musical aspirations.

  • I would say start looking for a girl in your local church.