How do you deal with the hand you were dealt?

I wasn't really 'born' with much to work with. I'm not tall and since I usually don't have girls obviously interested in me, I assume I'm not attractive at all, or at least below average.

I want to fix these things, but I can't, even though I can work on other areas of my personality like my social skills and other interests.

What are some PRACTICAL ways that you deal with areas of your life that you have/had no control over?

- RG


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What Girls Said 2

  • The biggest problem I see with men in your situation is simply lack of trying. That's it. I have several guy friends who are smart, decently attractive, and funny guys. They're even social when it comes to their own friends. The problem? They never put themselves out there! They go to places where it's very difficult to meet women their own age, find a million excuses as to why they can't go to places where women their own age are, refuse to approach, and many other reasons.

    They could have girlfriends. Every single one of them. They just won't try. Bars are beneath them. Online dating is beneath them. And if it's a setting that's not a bar, they say it's too weird to approach a girl in that setting. Anywhere we go as a group, they hide in the corner away from other people.

    It made me realize that this is how the majority of eligible men stay single for so long, and it has nothing to do with your looks or height.

    • Firstly, thanks for your opinion. I would like to say that lack of trying is definitely not my problem. If anything I've tried too hard. Waay too much online dating (to the point where I actually think I'm hideous now) doing things in real-life (groups, dancing, travelling, etc.) and I even went to bars a few times. Even though I am ridiculously busy, I have managed to 'put myself out there.' That isn't really what this question is about though.

      I have a hard time "letting go" of problems I can't control. I feel like some of the limitations I was born with (that other people don't necessarily have) can't be fixed and that stresses me out. I can't look like a movie star (not that I even find them that attractive anyway) no matter how hard I try... instead I have to face rejection from people because of things I can't even control. So, I was just asking how people deal with that feeling, or if they even have it...

    • Well I have another question, besides online dating, how often have you approached women or often meet women your age that are single?

    • Considering I'm in university and involved in a bunch of clubs, I would say fairly often. My program has a fairly high male-female ratio though. As for "approaching" I don't really understand what context you are using this word in. Just talking to people, or randomly approaching strangers in public?

  • Let me just say, a guy who is respectful, kind and honest is the sexiest thing ever. Being attractive is being a gentleman. I know, I know, people say things like that a lot, but it's totally the truth. A guy could be the most physically handsome man on the planet, but if he's a douche, forget it. There's so much more to being attractive than just looks sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself!


What Guys Said 1

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