Am I being emotionally abused? Or am I the problem? Somebody anybody help me? What do I do?

My boyfriend is 11 years older than me. We have been together 1 year and 3 months. He has an ex wife and he is still legally married to another but in the process of divorcing (I can't go into too many details, I'd be here all night and my head literally hurts from crying so much.)
our fight tonight started because he said he would have to personally deliver the papers to her, without me of course and I said 3 way call her first so I can hear and many other suggestions I. told him I did not feel comfortable with that, it escalated into a fight about both his exes,(one the mother of his kids). He called me stupid, retarded, childish, told me I have dumbo ears, threatened to beat up my grandma for getting in his business, pea brain, moron, bitch and so on. He made me feel like I am the bad guy and I am worthless and he said he'd rather be single than deal with somebody who starts arguments. This is bout the 497th argument we've had about the women in his life/past. I always end up crying for hours after our fights and whining to him.(This was on the phone by the way, he was at work)
I just love the man, I'm addicted to him. and also if he leaves me, he takes our bulldog who is one of my best friends and my baby girl and well many reasons why I cannot let go :(

I'm not 45 +.
I'm 24.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a relationship similar to yours. In short, I was addicted to him. I breathe him. Additionally, he would verbally abuse me, calling me stupid, idiot, whore, etc. It was toxic and I knew it was slowly killing me. So I did the best decision I've ever made (and will never regret it) by leaving this draining, toxic relationship.
    So, yes, he is verbally abusing you. And I would suggest, that you consider leaving this relationship. Nothing postive will come of you if stay in this relationship.
    Best wishes

    • How long did it hurt before you got over it? And how did you get over him?

    • At first it hurt. But after I left him for good, I figured my life was 100 times better. I felt proud of myself. I became more confident of who I am. I started to love myself. And then slowly, I didn't miss him anymore. It felt great to get rid of toxic things in my life. Relieve. Freedom like no other.
      Trust me , the pros outweigh the cons in leaving him.
      best wishes

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What Girls Said 3

  • That definitely sounds like an abusive relationship.
    I'd say it's best to get out. I realize that might mean you'll lose your dog to him but... at this point, it's either you keep your dog or your mental sanity.

    I'd say the latter is more important.

  • Well, why didn't you just let him go and sort this issue out? You obviously do not trust this man. Take your emotional heart out of the equation and just take a look at what you're doing. You've been with this man a very short amount of time yet right all the time, he isn't even fourty and he's divorced twice already? Which part of this is making you think this will work?

    Just leave. Open your eyes, if you have a child - even more reason. You want to teach her that this is Ok? Do you want her growing up thinking this is what a happy relationship is like?

  • is the dog yours or his?
    He is being abusive with the bad words and threatening you... if you cry more than you laugh it's also another bad sign... you should leave him and have a

    • oh ok ur 24 girl leave him and find a better guy !

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