He won't penetrate?

I am in a relationship with a guy who is 23 and i am 21. He is muslim, but isn't very religious but he just won't penetrate me. We have done EVERYTHING but that. We have been dating for 4 months and the sex life is getting boring now. It is also making me lose interest in the sexual aspect as i am quite getting over giving blowjobs and handjobs. He apparently wants to wait till marriage but i have always been sexually active in relationships. I don't know if should ask him to do it or see how it goes.


Most Helpful Guy

  • What I would suggest.
    1.) Talk to him about it. There is no benefit to holding it internally and hoping the situation just resolves itself. Unfortunately, life tends to not happen like that. Trying to just ignore it can lead to growing resentment which will lead to more complications and possibly collapse the relationship. When you talk to him, basically tell him what your thoughts were when you were writing this. In the end though, you can't force him, but you can tell him your wishes and hope accepts them and such.
    Don't give him ultimatums though-- like don't be like "Sex or we are over!" Think of him-- make sure he is wanting to have sex because he wants to have sex (to please you and such). Don't make him resent sex through force. That will lead to more issues too down the line because then sexy time together will be faced as an obligation/chore for him.

    He'll either...
    Disregard what you said (aka a rejection)
    Agree with you and go for it (aka an acceptance)

    2. i) So this is assuming he rejects you. If this happens, you'll have two choices...
    --- A.) Break up with him based on the notion that you need sex in a relationship before marriage and don't want to wait.
    --- B.) Weather it out. "See how it goes" like you said. This may lead to growing resentment as mentioned earlier or a constant feeling of want for more (which may lead to more issues). That, or you'll get used to it and life will go on, even if there is a slight annoyance.
    It all boils down to the question... How important is sex to you? Is it a dealbreaker if he didn't want to have sex? I cannot answer that question -- you'll have to search within yourself for that.

    2. ii) So this is assuming he accepts you. In which case, it will probably lead to sex at some point. He'll do penetration, and life goes on happily for you and so on and so forth. The current issue goes away and you'll forget you ever read this answer or asked in on GAG haha


Most Helpful Girl

  • Discuss it with him.
    Reassure him that you really love him, but you'd really like it if you could go all the way down with him.
    Tell him that having sex is really important to you and explain to him that it will make you feel closer to him.
    If he still doesn't understand the importance in satisfying your sexual needs, then you should either be patient and see for how long your sacrifice will last or you break up with him and find someone else.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Hmm well if you really love him you should have no problem waiting till marriage...
    If you don't like it then you should breakup cause I know I am not muslim but these people are strict and this guy will wait till marriage...

    So either wait or let him go...

    • It's too early to be in love with him, i guess I'll have to think this out. Thanks

    • How many months have you been dating?

  • It's prohibited.. It's strictly not allowed in the religion. Penetrating before marriage has the worse punishment in Islam!

  • this is huge self-sacrifice u should appreciate that. if he so ancient views it can be big disappointing for him if u try to hard.

    • It is hard for me to go that far then stop

  • dumb him


What Girls Said 1

  • You will need to convince him that sex is meant to be enjoyed by the man as well as the woman, and you want that both of you should enjoy it together. You already have an intellectual and emotional connect which is deep and intense, and this makes both of you ripe and ready to take things a step further with a physical connection. You will need to impress upon him that nothing will make you happier than to merge your body with his in the most intimate way a man and woman can, and he would thereby discover a new aspect of himself too. He will transform himself from a boy to a man. Your age and your time spent together are just right for the two of you to further strengthen your bond and embark on this journey of intimate self and mutual discovery. Too much delay will dry up the feelings and passion you have for each other, and that, sadly, would be an opportunity lost forever.


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