Do guys prefer girls that aren't dating around or?

I'm not a relationship/dating kind of person. I prefer to be single, not that i hate relationships or dating its just a waste of my time and i dont like to have to check in with someone all the time. Anywho, when guys hit on me and i feel they're going to ask me out i kind of push them away or let it be known im not dating or want to be in a relationship and its like IM THEIR GOAL OR SOMETHING. Its ridiculous. They bug me and are like "well now i feel like not asking you out" and I'll be like "good please dont." but then they keep trying to find out more about me as if i was some sort of mysterious creature. They ask me if i think they're ugly and are really bugged by the fact that im not flattered by their compliments (bc i dont want to encourage them to continue). This has happened a lot but it just came to my mind yesterday when a new guy at work kept like following me and asking me questions probably wondering whats wrong with me, and he was asking my coworkers too. Fuck why is it so hard to understand


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What Guys Said 3

  • I don't mind if she's dating around, if she's actively looking for that special someone.
    If it's like "One of my hobbies is dating guys", then I'm staying away

    • Perhaps I'll rethink everything in a few years but I'm fine where i am now. I feel like just spoke in circles lol

  • Wow, this is interesting. I have several points.

    First, when you "let it be known", be sure you make it clear and unambiguous. Men are notoriously bad at taking hints and many things can be interpreted in different ways. be clear be assertive. Be like a German, but do try be sympathetic to their condition, their high interest. If you can pull these things off- I know, why should you have to? If you can pull them off, you'll probably get them to respect your no. Why is it a burden you have to bear? I can't answer that question, but if you do that, the results will change.

    Not to be an asshole but I wonder why you are not interested in dating? How did the human race ever go on, if people are this ambivalent or apathetic? I think you just have low interest level in the people who are hitting on you. Hopefully you find someone you have a true interest in, and he reciprocates. You are here on this site, after all, so you must be interested on some level in finding love. Since men pick but women choose and you are a chooser, make sure you know what is best for you and choose well, and not just be lured by shiny things. Maybe you are overlooking lots of good men. Maybe men are in the process of becoming someone successful, like doctors or artists, but at the moment they don't happen to have money or fame. Get them while they're cheap!

    As a man, I don't want to harass women or be accused of hitting on one. I understand the nature of the game is that men are generally the aggressors, so I really truly appreciate and respect it when a woman who is not interested gives a clear definite no, and for bonus points, respects me or even gets flattered that I had the guts to go talk to her and risk rejection because I found her appealing. These women are rare. Most women don't have the courage or strength to be like this.

    • I am really straight forward about things. Another guy kept hitting on me even when he had a girlfriend. He would always ask me when we were going to go out and i would say "never" or ignore him and he would laugh and be like "seriously" and gave me his number. he just never got it, he was really cocky though so maybe he just couldn't take no for an answer. Even now he visits my coworkers and tries flirting even though he knows im not interested.

      The last and only relationship i was in was really clingy, i couldn't take it. Even when i was younger I wasn't really into relationships. And perhaps because my parents are very clingy too I'm afraid all relationships are like that.
      Everyone i know is getting engaged/married/having kids and i think 19-21 is too young for that. It just seems like everyone is looking to BE engaged. I dont want that. I dont want to get into a relationship and a year later be engaged already. So maybe thats why i think i should stay away from dating right now.

    • That's cool. It's not fun when you are around clingy people, and it's not fun to be the clingy person. Save yourself lol. Your only obligation is to yourself.

      ps a lot of men are misguided because they get confused advice online and elsewhere. That can be what perpetuates this crap. Another thing is if a boy and a girl are in high school together, she has the value of being good looking, but in the real world he hasn't proven himself yet, in anything. Maybe sports, from which he can draw confidence, or maybe he has good parents, a good father, otherwise where can they draw confidence and how can they be a match for the beautiful women?

      You are in your sexual prime. I know you might not like to think or talk about sex but you are in your fertility prime. Just remember that. There are other primes in life like wisdom prime and happiness or success prime will come later, but fertility and mating power prime you are in it now.

  • Yes, I prefer girls that don't date around. But I know when to stop my approach. If I get a no, I'm out.


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