Guys, Awesome first date. Can I message him?

So I went on an awesome first date two days ago and we said we were going to see each other again this weekend. During the date he mentioned wanting to see me the next day but had work and things to do. Thanks to my wonderful girl brain I can't stop thinking about this guy and can't wait to see him again but have had enough experience in the past with guys to know too much contact, especially in the beginning, tends to be overwhelming and ultimately end up in pushing him away. I obviously I want to avoid this but I really want to see him. I messaged him yesterday and asked if he wanted to hang out after he was done what he had to do. He said he really wanted to but was feeling yhe effects of a bad cold. Not surprising since he was really stuffed up on our date so im pretty sure it wasn't an excuse. Now I've done pretty well and haven't talked to him in about 24 hrs. Would it be crossing the clingy line just to send him a are you feeling any better today text or should I just wait till he texts me? The anticipation is killing me!!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • If it were me, I wouldn't mind another text... I'd kind of like it, actually. But only if you know he's interested, which it sounds like he is from what you said.
    If you want to play it safe and not risk seeming too clingy (if you want to call it that, which I don't think is an issue from what you've said), send a closed ended text message where he can reply if he wants, or not, and either way it's not awkward.

    So rather than "Are you feeling any better today?", text him "Hope you're over that cold soon, being sick on the weekend sucks!" or something along those lines. That way if he doesn't want to converse, he doesn't have to... he sees you're thinking about him, but you're not bugging him, expecting him to reply and engage in a text message conversation or anything.

    Subtle difference, but makes the difference between "clingy" and "thoughtful", while still providing an opportunity to start a conversation if he wants to.

    • That is good advice! I just wish I'd seen in sooner. I basically asked him if he was feeling any better and then said I didn't mean to bug him being sick just sucks. That was almost 4 hours ago. I know I shouldn't worry about it so much I just really like this guy.

    • Just lay low, don't put any more pressure on. You've made it clear that you're interested, now let him come to you if he's interested as well.
      If he doesn't, then he wasn't all that interested to begin with despite what he may have said or felt at first.

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