How to handle the whole "talking phase"?

Okay.. So, I'm almost 30 but I've not dated a lot. I've had a couple long serious relationships here and there... So, here is my issue: I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks.. He let me know from the start that he is talking to two other females also. It kind of seemed as if he talked to me more so as we talked for three plus hours a night on top of facebook or texting. Well, we finally met for the first time and we had a lot of fun. Unfortunatly, we got a little bit too drunk and things went further than I had planned on. We discussed it the next day, and he said he didn't even remember! Since then, it's been a bit awkward. He had apologized and said he had wanted to take it slower etc. I did as well. I hoped us getting a little carried away hadn't ruined stuff because I do like him and I'm not usually like that nor do I want that by itself. Well, now it seems he's backed off. I don't know if there is any fixing it. Maybe it's because he feels it is a little awkward too? I might add: two days before we met up he slimmed down on messages but figured no biggie maybe nerves... Now, that went down he's very distant.. Any way to fix this? Ignore him or what? As I said, I'm newer to this. I like him... Another thing, I can add is he just got out of a marriage that was 10 plus years 7 months ago... Any help is appreciated.


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  • His honesty about the other females is good. Now the ball is in your court. You can either choose to keep seeing him, or cut things off. Him not remembering what happened between the two of you means one of two things: 1) he's lying and actually does remember, or 2) he got blackout drunk the very first night you met him. I think both of those options say a lot about him and his character. Once you cross that line in a relationship, you can't go back. The fact you two got carried away doesn't mean anything in regards to your relationship. Some people wait months and still get dumped in the end, and some people give it up the first night and end up married.

    If you want to fix it, talk to him. If you don't want to ignore him, then just go ahead and talk to him. If you ignore him, and he's already not talking much you might just end up completely cutting the communication between you.

    Also, he is probably not ready for anything serious, since his marriage just ended less than a year ago.

    TLDR: proceed with caution.

    • I took your advice. I talked to him. He seems pretty confused talking about be has a wall up and don't want hurt again. I referred to hay night saying wish it hadn't went down like that and he got emotioal saying I made him feel bad BC I refgret him. I explained myself more and he's talked if I talk to him first. I'm backing off now not BC I don't like him but BC I do and he's not ready. I told him we were friends and at first be seemed hurt by that. I don't get it. I just think he is lost himself in what he wants or feels... which after the marriage ending less than a yr ago it's understandable...

  • I say treat him no better than he's treating you.


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