What's with this German guy?

This is a follow up on my question:

So I went out on the third date with this German man (42 year old,) and just like the first two, while we got along great, he made no move whatsoever. Not so much as even hold my hand or even a compliment.

Like our first two dates, this one was rather Long too - 8 hours. We met for dinner, then went to a ballet and then had drinks until 2 am in the morning... Lots to talk about. Deep intellectual and warm, friendly connection. While we spoke about general stuff, we also had a lot of personal insightful talk - you know, the type that kinda allows each other to know, what makes you you...

Towards the end of the date, I steered the conversation towards dating and relationships. And I asked him what kind of connection he thought we had, whether it was platonic or romantic. He replied he didn't know yet. It was too early to tell, since we only met three times... But he had a really nice time this evening. He enjoyed his time with me or something to that effect. He liked that I suggested the ballet (Don Quixote,) since it resonated with his childhood and upbringing...

I told him I enjoy talking to him, that I thought him to be a good person, and that I too didn't know if it was Platonic or romantic. Regardless I liked having him around. And he replied, "Yes, well put. You have a way with words..."

So what's going on? Is this a sign this guy is not interested? Doesn't find me attractive? Is he asexual?
Hopefully you guys can help shed some light 😊


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guessing this guy's past relationship deteriorated into such dates as these and he feels comfortable in picking up new ones in this vein, at this speed, recalling the comfort of that past love. He's in no hurry to experience the pain of that last one, to risk that in a rush to satisfy his animal passions. He's used to interviewing people and this routine applies to dating/shopping for a mate.

    He's finally found peace and attracted to women, not ready for their passions to invade & demand his life to change to please.. yet.

    Agreed, he's mentally satisfied but the love & lust pilot lights are not yet lit.
    Thus, future dates are certainly warranted but being exclusive to him is OUT until he gives further notice. Besides, I'm not reading any lust for him burning a hole in your panties...

    • Hmm... That's a pretty insightful answer. You brought up some things I hadn't considered...

      And you are right. I don't feel a physical attraction to him yet...

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't understand him... he is an enigma. Whilst he has gone out with you for a third date, which would indicate an interest on his part, it puzzles me why he hasn't even touched you as yet (not saying it has to be sexual). Has he had a prior relationship/marriage and when was that?

    • I asked him this on our last date. He said he had a Long distance relationship last year, but his proper relationship was about 2 or 3 years ago...

    • Show All
    • It's not LDR, cos he is based in Singapore. He just travels to Beijing a lot for work.

      I didn't really ask him how the last relationship ended.

    • I think it might be time to have a heart to heart with him and ask him what he is looking for out of this relationship... it would be better to hear it from him than to be left guessing...

  • The bigger question is that you know him for 3 months considering your last question and only had 3 dates?

    • Yes true. That is rather strange too. He takes his time with setting up dates. Granted, he travels a lot, and I was away for sometime too, but still. He is in no hurry to see me.

    • If he really is in no hurry, then it seems like he really isn't that interesting to be honest. If a guy, including german guys, really wants to see you he will make sure to spend time with you.

      Except he is like only 2 days in the country and 20 days travelling. But then there is no real chance of a relationship either way, because you can't build a strong relationship founded on that.

  • If I was yhat guy I'd be judging your intelligence and opinions before trying more: I'm rather sapiosexual
    But that's me...

  • Bloody Germans.


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