What is the next move?

I went out on a date with a guy two weeks ago, he was really down to earth and chill guy and we clicked instantly (I liked him). We hooked up (no intercourse) and he stayed the night, we had a great night. After that day he didn't write or anything, when I wrote one day he replied and after didn't open my messages. He answered two days later saying he had a good time too and I wrote that we should meet again. No answer and today I got annoyed that one week has gone and NOTHING so I confronted him saying that it's sad that he didn't answer but it's okay, that I found him interesting and HE was the one initiating us to meet and kissed me, no strings attached. That he should have been honest if he didn't want to meet me again since we are both adults, I wrote in a "diplomatic" yet firm way that he can't play with me. I had nothing to lose! He replied back saying: I'm so bad in replying and don't take it personally that he does that to many people. He wanted to meet again but is currently very busy with studies.

Should I believe him and what should I do?
I mean if he wanted to end this would have been perfect time to do so!


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What Girls Said 2

  • It's highly unlikely he wants to see you again. I think he's just being polite and hoping you are smart enough to get the message and move on. I'm not judging you, but I think you may have been seen by him as moving too fast, being too eager, too available and essentially taking the reign and the lead. I know you say full-on intercourse didn't occur, but if this was your first date, making out and spending the night may have been too much for him. What he'd be wondering about is how easy is she and how many other blokes has she been this fast and easy with? Men have fragile egos, which we ladies need to be mindful of, and which we need to stroke from time to time. Many a man lose interest when you snatch the hunt/chase from them! Let the man be the man and let him take the lead and do the chasing and the initiating until he's got you with his hard work. When things get to an even keel, they enjoy and deeply appreciate it when you take the lead and initiate things, but not before. They like it that way. Learn from this and don't be too eager with the next one - keep the next one waiting a little and let him work a little harder for you before you make out with him, if you want him to stick around. After a date, don't be too quick or be the first to text or to say you want to see them again. Leave it a few days and if he hasn't sent anything, then send him a 'thank you' text - thanking him for a most wonderful evening, coffee or whatever it was you did together. If, however, he has sent a text then by all means do reply as soon as you see it please, thanking him for being such a great company and do your best to match his level of enthusiasm honestly. Do not say you want to hang out again, unless he has first raised that question in which case you'll just have to concur and again let him make the plans and be a willing participant. I hope this helps.

    • You have a valid point and the thing is, I could not write the whole story but HE was the one who asked me out several times and I ignored before I agreed. HE was the who gave me his number. I was so sceptical! When we met, it was an instant connection and we talked a lot and had many things incommon, he looked at me in a special way. Anyways HE asked me to watch a movie, was is like me to do no. We did watch a movie and talk, till HE kissed me and I made it clear that there was NO SEX and he respected that. Him kissing me and holding me tight reminded me of missing closeness. I didn't write until 3 days later and he replied before not looking at my message until 2 days later and I waited days too before answering, I know it's a turn off to be clingy. Now he had a option to be honest because I wrote that to him if he want to meet or not. Yet he said yes! Why still "lie" if you can back off and I'm giving you that ! Me being clingy? If I'm willing to let him go? But what do I know?

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    • Yeah I should just give up! The thing was we both don't want to be in a serious relationship (Mine ended 6 mon ago and his 3 mon ago) and we both knew that! I really hoped that he could like me, it felt like I would have lost either way. I really liked this guy! I don't normally do this but it felt good to have a guy like him giving me attention and saying that he felt an connection. I feel stupid right now. Guys leave me for being the good girl and one time I do something out of my elements SAME thing :(

    • @pinkflowers88 There's no need to feel stupid or sorry for yourself. Just put it down to experience, and learn from it. So next time you'll handle a similar situation like a pro. As for being dumped for being a goodgirl (ha ha ha isn't that my name on here?), don't let that bother you at all. If a guy dumps you for being good, then he is not right for you and he is doing you as favour! That is a guy you do not want anyway. As for you really liking this guy, I can assure you that there are many fishes in the ocean... just cast your net out again. Don't give up on letting the right guy hunt you... just enjoy the ride and play along. Don't be too eager, show enough interest, but be a little coy at the same time. You will find the right guy for you, trust me... and you've got such a whole life ahead of you, sweetie!

  • Yeah, that's really annoying.
    Well, I think you can certainly give him another chance if you want to. But I don't think you should "wait around for him" or anything like that. Go ahead and talk to other guys. Tell him that you'd like to meet up again when he gets the chance, and then it's up to him.

    • Yeah it sure is and the thing is, I gave him an option to back off if he didn't want to see me again. Yet he wrote 1. That he had a great time last time and 2. He would like to meet again. Yes I'm not looking for anything exclusive with him just like his company. Since my ex broke my heart I don't want to fall in love unless I know that he is MR Right but it doesn't hurt to be with Mr right now. I don't know! I had to confront him anyways to let him know that I don't take BS and if someone else asks me out I'm free to do so.