Is mom overreacting here?

My boyfriend is 29 and im 25 we have been together almost 5 years. He lives in ga and i live in pa. He moved to ga last April for a better job offer and because he hates cold weather. Anyways because he has been at this job less than a year he only gets 7 days paid vacation time. He used a couple when i visited him in September and then again in February and he also came up for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Well his mom asked him if he wanted to go with her and his 22 year old brother and his step dad to visit his 27 year old brother in cali (never invited me his girlfriend of 5 years mind you) and he said well danielle (me) family goes to ocean city md for a week in August every year and i only get so many paid vacations days and i want to use it on my girlfriend. Well his mom got really upset with him saying i can't believe you are going to use your vacation time on danielle and her family instead of taking a vacation to see your own brother. Now keep in mind we have been together almost 5 years so its not like we just started going out and im some fleeing girlfriend. And is his mom overreacting? I feel like she is treating him like he is 16 and not a 29 year old grown man with his own life. I honestly don't think it's that crazy that he would prioritize his girlfriend that he has been with for a really long time now who is looking to start her life with him. I plan on moving in with him once i save uo more money. Who is right here?


What Guys Said 2

  • Mothers never want to lose their precious little boy to another woman who looks after him.

    To be fair he spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with you, so I can kinda understand how she feels. However you are right, after 5 years you should be included in most family events, especially since you live apart.

    • No he flew down and spent Christmas and Thanksgiving with everyone

    • Oh, you said he also came up for those. I must have misinterpreted. Still, my point stands, you should be included.

      Instead of playing tug-of-war with both families, why don't just the two of you go somewhere for vacation together? Seems a better option to me and if i only saw my girlfriend occasionally, i'd want to be alone with her for as much as possible. As you say, you're both adults with your own lives.

    • No trust me i agree 100% with you. That's what I'm saying and his mom is like but it's your FAMILY your brother is your blood family always comes first. Where as I'm thinking but shouldn't i be family to him after being together 5 years like shouldn't i be as much of a priority if not more so than parents and siblings at this point in our relationship?

  • You are an adult... you can do what you want, when you want.


What Girls Said 1

  • Seems like he needs to have a talk with his mom. Letting her know that you are the significant other. Perhaps let her know that he would like you to accompany them the Ca.
    You need to stay out of this

    • Well im not staying out of it it involves me because i am the one being left out and its my family vacation. A healthy relationship is about respect and communication and i communicated to my boyfriend that i feel like he needs to tell his mom that he is a grown man who can make his own choices and thst i should be invited

    • Yes but the conversation must be between them. He needs to stand up for you. You can't force him

    • Why can't i be involved in it if the issue involves me? I feel like to have good communication the three of us need to communicate

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