He doesn't like to just hook up... So what does it mean?

This guy and I have flirted for a while online. We know eachother from real life though. A while back we talked about things nd he said he has personal issues that he doesn't feel ready to date anyone but he finds me really attractive and cool. I said we can be friends with benefits and he said that just hooking up isn't his style. However now we have plans to go on a trip together and he keeps mentioning things we will do sexually... So if he doesn't just like hook ups is he maybe ready for more?


Most Helpful Guy

  • same I dont like hook up as it is cause my girlfriend gets too loose I like more licking her out


Most Helpful Girl

  • Agreed - he's hard to understand at first blush
    but I'm betting that the only sex he craves now if the GF/wife sort, even if only in his mind... it must be some sort of parallel to what he had in order to be comfortable enough for him to participate.

    It could be that only in a loving relationship doesn't he feel sexually competent or competitive with others, never the player or sex hound pursued by women by his reputation.

    The only part I don't like is the "personal issues" and other lack of details not shared in order to fully understand his "restrictions" YET he's willing for both of you to share spit & privates on this trip ? Maybe it's just his little head talking and his big head will open up more on the trip.
    I also don't trust such a statement as it has become a convenient stiffarm to relationships (but not sex) and speaks to the guy having an anchor, as if the gal has none.

    • The issues he mentioned are depression and anxiety related. He's the shy/awkward/quiet type. He also mentioned that his past relationships were very toxic and unhealthy... And that he gets attached too easily (which is why he didn't want to only be involved sexually).

    • I warn you against leaning over too far in accommodating his "problems", although I know this falls on deaf ears after reading you offering friends with benefits and now entangled in his "problems" enough to further explain them (or defend them?). Such types need a mommy, not a lover. Those that adopt these types soon tire of being mommy, get angry that this is a one-way street of giving w/o end and OF COURSE things turn toxic pretty fast. Such a guy then doesn't evolve past shy/awkward/quiet EVER as a result.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • Yes he probably is, but I think you should clarify & ask him.

  • ask him about it, be open and straight up ask him