Falling for a guy that isn't even right for you?

My friend thought it would be funny if she set me up on a double date with her coworker. I met him at a party and we got along really well and he apparently kept asking about me (even tho i hadn't really thought much about the time we were faded at a party) we started talking a little bit. Sometimes i would stop replying bc ya know, i dont want to be available all the time. But he would send me another text changing the subject, trying to keep it alive i guess. Well the double date was terrible. We were all high, and he told us basically he's a street thug and he carries a gun and his neighbor is a blood and he's crip and omg i didn't say anything the rest of the night. But he also said some other stuff that made up for it i guess lol which is i was intrigued and agreed to go on a second actual date. (i wouldn't date a guy like this in a million years) yesterday we went out. I think it actually went really well. It got quiet sometimes but then he would start up a new topic. It was pretty clear that i knew nothing about his lifestyle and he claimed that i hung out with "smart white people" which i found a little offensive. Im not white lol or really smart, but i guess since i dont walk around with a blunt behind my ear i look smart. When i heard he wanted my number i immediately thought he wanted a fuck buddy. Im not like that. Last night i was convinced he would make a move but he didn't. I either did a really good job at showing him we aren't really each others type n im not looking to hook up, or he was genuinely not interested in me lol. when i got home he texted me saying he had a great time even tho the movie was horrible and that he's paying for everything next time (i paid this time) and i replied that yeah that movie was okay but it came with a great time spent with him. And then i said goodnight and he didn't reply. He always replies. I don't know i kinda liked him after that date last night. he's obviously trying to change his life around. I like that


What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds to me like you could be in true danger with people he knows, or, if something went very wrong, from him. Don't get together with him.


What Girls Said 1

  • I did something similar to this. He and I were from VERY diff backgrounds and didn't have a lot in common but he was turning his life around. We didn't really "get" each other's lifestyles and I knew week 1 ot wouldn't work long term.

    It lasted a month and I don't regret any of it. Spending time with him opened my eyes to a few things. It helped me realize some things about my life and life in general and I still respect the guy. We text from time to time still to see how each other is doing. We both know we aren't good for each ither, but we ended things well so there is respect there still.

    • Omg yess. I saw things in a different way when he told me things, probs bc of the different backgrounds. And like I don't know maybe i also feel bad for him bc of how he lives and he genuinely wants to turn things around but its hard. Ahhh

    • Show All
    • Regardless i should walk away but i guess im trying to figure out if the risk is worth it and if he even still likes me after last night

    • It depends what you want out of it. If you don't really hang out much with his friends (not likely a good idea) and know it's short term, you just want to have a bit of fun and learn a little more about him and how he views life then go for it.

      If you are wanting something long term or get hurt easily then it's not

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