Should I just ask her if I'm wasting my time?

There's a cute, busty, very sweet Saudi Arabian girl in my Middle-Eastern History class. I've been talking to her for a few weeks, and we had a friendly meal at a Medditeranean resturaunt on campus about two weeks ago. So, I've been asking her if she want to see a movie, but she said that she "wanted to hang out with friends" that weekend. I also get the impression that she might be sending me some sort of signals of interest or disinterest (fuck if I can tell).

So, here's my plan; I'm going to ask her to see a movie this weekend, and if she says no, I'm going to ask her if I'm wasting my time pursuing her. Is that a good idea? Is that considered socially-acceptable? Hell if I know.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If she rejects you again (which will be the 2nd time), then it is not necessary that you ask that question. You should just move on.
    If someone wants to hang out with you, they will make time for you.
    When I'm interested in a guy, I may respond "No, I am not free that day but I am free _____ day".
    That is how someone responds that really wants to hang out with you.

    • How will this be a second time?

      So, is asking that question a good idea? Just getting it out of the way?

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    • Good luck. I hope she does say yes this time.

    • I can almost guarantee you that she won't, but thanks.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure go for it


What Girls Said 2

  • Perhaps ask, but find a better way to say it. To just say "am I wasting my time?" Kinda makes you sound like a jerk. Otherwise if she still seems disinterested I'd say move on

  • I wouldn't even ask a second time. See if I was her and I was interested, I think id suggest another day; "Oh can't do sat, how bout sunday?" kinda thing. If she didn't suggest a different day either she's playing hard to get or she likes the attention and she's just wasting your time.

    • Well, obviously she's not interested; the goal is to try to make her interested. I doubt many men can catch a woman's interest from just talking a few times.

    • yeah but as you probably know you can't force attraction and often its those first few conversations that lead up to more. But keep in mind it might not be about disinterest at all. Maybe she's conservative, maybe she has her eyes on someone else. I would ask for lunch again, its hard to reject those because they sorta come off as innocent little meetups and not dates. Then if it goes well maybe ask for a movie date? (Obviously these are just my thoughts and by no means am I trying to be arrogant)

    • We already had a lunch/dinner date/meet up. It went very well.

      She's a Shiite Muslim, by the way.

What Guys Said 4

  • First off, a few weeks is not a healthy length of time to determine if you're wasting your time. If you like that much, you should give it a little more. Be her friend but don't give indicators that that is all you want to be. Don't give up man.

    Secondly, a movie is not a good way to start a relationship with someone. "Hey, do you wanna pay to sit in front of a large t. v. and not talk to eachother for a couple hours to just end the night?" Attempt to find something you bother would have a lot of fun interacting with eachother.

    Good luck my friend

  • If we go by the book, you made the first move and she refused. Save for some instances, when a person looks forward to hanging out with you, they Will make time for you.

    Here's where you mess up: you think you should give up altogether just because she refuses, but then you can't let it go and need to know for certain and "ask her if you're wasting your time". Well, what would be the point of that question, she could say what ever she wanted.

    Fuck the signals of interest and disinterest. Unless she blurts out to you that she isn't interested, you're well in the game. The fact is, you're interested. Are you a winner or a loser?

    • I invited her to dinner before, and she accepted. We ate and had a good time.

    • Also, exactly. I don't listen to "signals." I have no respect for them.

  • When you ask her.. Don't say "can I take you out?" or any of that bullchit. That vanilla movie shit is terrible game to try and run on a girl. You are acting like you are doing her a favor.

    Play around with her a little make her laugh. When she is laughing just go in with the "we should go see this movie this weekend"

    Also don't fcking ask her if you are wasting your time pursuing here. That is so cringe bro why would you ever say that to a girl.

    Sell yourself as a fun witty guy that she will want to hang out with. If you can make her laugh and she is attracted to you than you are in.

    Goodluck brah!

    • I do say "we should go see a movie." Trust me, dude; I know how to address that.

      I think I've already sold myself; I just don't think she's buying. I would ask her if I'm wasting my time so that I don't waste my time.

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    • @rgb008 How will I know if she rejects me? Is there a mature forthright way of asking if she is or is not interested at all?

      Well, yes, I am after one thing: her affection.

    • What do you mean that movie shit is vanilla? I genuinely enjoy movies it's no game

  • Good idea. Get it out of the way.
    Something I'll never do.