My boyfriend had a one night stand right before dating me?

I have been with my boyfriend for about six months.
He is my first love and the only boyfriend I've ever had.
He, however has had two other girlfriends (first one nothing happened, only dated a month), and his longest relationship was around six months and he had slept with her, which is understandable and natural.
He was open to me about this, and I felt sure that that girl was his only sexual partner, so a few months into the relationship everything was going well, I felt comfortable, and so I decided that I wanted to have sex with him too.
I had asked him if he had any STD's because it was important to me, and he said that neither him or his ex did, and since it was only one partner I trusted it and didn't think about it.
Anyway a few months later, and I don't remember what we were talking about, but I casually asked him if he had had a one night stand before. He said yes. I was initially shocked, and then asked for details. It was several years ago, and they actually didn't end up doing anything (but since they were going to and were almost there he counts it). I was hurt that he didn't tell me this, so I was sulky for a few days, but I got over it since it was more than a year and a half ago.
So, we trust each other, so both of our phones are always free for the other to look at. Yesterday, I got a text and jokingly acted like it was someone important (he could tell and read it and pretended to be surprised) and in exchange I took his phone and looked through his facebook messenger.
And I found... a girl he had had a one night stand with two weeks before he started talking to me (September 25th, he chatted me up Oct 8th and we were together Oct 28th). My whole world crumbled, as he had a) literally lied to my face SEVERAL TIMES about only having one, and because I could have actually gotten and STD? There are so many reasons...
Anyway, I'm so hurt... on the whole carride home he denied sleeping with her but I finally got it out of him. What to do...

In the message I found, she was saying how she was hurt, because they "almost had sex but he said he had another girl on his mind (which he explained afterwards) and then asked her if he should talk to me." He also says that he never even finished and she ended up kicking him out (which I believe, the message gave evidence for it).
Anyway, he's really really ashamed of both of these incidents according to him. Other than this, we are extremely happy, and I don't want to break up with him


What Guys Said 1

  • The only real question here is can you put it behind you and move on? If you can that's great and things will be ok. If you can't that going to be a real problem. Unresolved issues often become a bigger problem


What Girls Said 1

  • Why are you so focused on what he did before he ever dated you?
    That has nothing to do with you at all, so to speak.
    I think he lied because he was afraid of judgment, which you are doing right now.
    I know it hurts because you don't want to picture your boyfriend in that light, but he didn't betray you at all.
    This is simply a past he had before he ever became official with you.
    As long as he isn't cheating on you, you should be able to look past this.
    "could of... should of... but you didn't".

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