Should I end it if I don't think he's over his ex?

I have only been seeing this guy for a little over a month. There were things he did that did not make sense, which I recently pieced together and realized he is hiding us from his ex's mom. Him and his roommate both work with his ex's mom, so I am not allowed to stay at his apartment and he gets really paranoid if I drop him off at his work. I guess his ex is coming home from school and wants to talk to him, he said that he is unsure if he wants to talk to her but he does not want to get back together. Is it too early to even show concerns over this? We haven't exactly had the "where is this going?" talk. I kind of want to end it now because he clearly cannot be over her if he is hiding us, and I don't want to be left in the dirt if she comes home and they do get back together. So I am not going to continue dating him and like him even more for that to happen. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Certainly don't end a relationship because he is willing to have a conversation with his ex!

    By him not being "over" her, I take it to mean that he still feels hurt about the ending of their r/ship. That is not a bad thing. It only becomes a bad thing if he either changes his mind and wants to be with her again, or if it clouds his judgment about you and commits more to you than he might otherwise do.

    Those are the two things I'd discuss with him and be watchful for. Otherwise, keep seeing him.

    • My bigger concern is that he is hiding me from his ex's mom, if they are EXES then he is allowed to see other people. His roommate works with his mom so we have to sneak in and out of his apartment! He even once said that his roommate would be upset because "I am not his girlfriend" and he is probably concerned that she would tell his ex's mom too. If it is over why would he care?

    • Show All
    • Well I don't need to be introduced, just not hidden. I guess if he was really concerned about that he wouldn't even have me drop him off anywhere near his office either. And he did say his ex broke his heart so yeah, probably not done grieving. But if he isn't done grieving is he ready to move on?

    • Whether he is ready for something serious only he can answer.

What Guys Said 3

What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should give it some time.. there are a few other factors about this. First, you have been seeing each other for a very short time. But more importantly, he could be worried about job security because he works for his ex's mom. That's a legitimate concern depending on the ex and whether or not she might make him lose his job. If he says he doesn't want to get back together with her, then for now I think you can trust what he is saying.

  • I think that you should go with your gut, and dump him.
    It's early enough that it wouldn't be too heartbreaking, cause it's only been for over one month, and if he's hiding you at all from anyone, I would be concerned.
    Remember, nine times out of ten, your conscience is right.
    Hope I helped! And best wishes.