Guys, Men do you get nervous the closer you get to commitment?

Eh... fellas... yes you.. ALL OF YOU..
The closer you get to commitment do you feel nervous? The need to reclaim your freedom? Distant?
Is this a natural stage?

You see I met this really amazing guy. We hit it off on our first date. He did not friendzone me at all. In fact he called, texted and kept telling me how much of a great time he had with me, that I made his day. He went on further to talk about how we "gotta bbq burgers in the summertime". And then I simply threw out there that maybe the following day we could go for coffee and he started to tell me that he was unsure about when he would get off of work (he is in construction) which I completely understood. Now he was still talking extra sweet to me the rest of the evening just seemed a little "off". He still said goodnight with the petname that he created for me. And everything. Now today apparently he is not going to work, he slept in and is going to the doctors. He has not friendzoned me but he has stepped back a wee bit. I feel it. He says everything is still good between us. He even asked what I would be doing today but did not try to fit into my plans or go for coffee. All he said was "its good to have one day to do nothing". But we spoke and he said his usual bye with the petname. And inquired if he would get to talk to me later on. So I am a bit confused...

I read somewhere that says that sometimes the closer men get to commitment they panic out of fear that their freedom will be taken away. So sometimes they get distant for a bit to reassess their feelings and to process where the girl fits into their life. Is this true?

What is the skinny on my situation here? Be honest... not crude or silly... Just some honesty please.
Has anyone been like him? Should i give him space?


What Guys Said 3

  • If the girl is loyal to me, i will commit to her immediately,
    if she ain't loyal to me, she will just be my fuck buddy

  • I personally like commitment I'm not a fan of that awkward phase in the beginning. I like getting to the level were I'm comfortable with her, can talk to her easily and know we're we both stand.

    It sounds like to me that he was just busy or maybe just needed a day off alone, sometimes life gets you sometimes. Keep trying, keep talking to him and so how it goes for the next few days.

    • He has opened up to me about his past (which isn't pretty). The comfort. trust.. everything is there. Everything seemed perfectly o. k and i dont know of i saod something to bother him.. but he just seems like he wants to be alone today.

      But it scares me... I take distance as rejection.. .

    • Well then give him the space today and see how he is tomarrow.

  • It depends on the man. I'm the complete opposite. I'm not a big fan of the "dating stage" where things are awkward, you're never sure what the other person is thinking, and you haven't established where you two stand.
    The closer I get to commitment, the more comfortable I begin to feel.

    • Just to add in... this man I speak of has been abandoned when he was a child. And his longest relationship was just over a year. So I was wondering if that would play a part the closer he gets to commitment for fear of being left.

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    • Thats what i thought. It was very out of character.
      So you suggest... leaving him alone?
      (i fear losing him)

    • Not necessarily. Maybe try asking him what he needs from you to make him more comfortable. Just be patient with him.