Why do men not claim me? How can I stop being the girl men just want to have sex with?

I do not run around, I have only had 3 boyfriends. In the beginning I always state that I am a relationship girl, and I do not have times for games, lies and disappointment.

I have waited in this game of dating before I had sex with my bfs
From two years to three months to a week, and all I got were the same results of disappointment, hurt and betrayal.

I will tell you why, these men will willingly hunt me down, text and call me, hang out with me, but no grand public appearance. Whenever one is to be made it is with some other girl, and they act as if they do not know me. I am tired of this cycle of hurt and disappointment
Why am I not claimed?

I am not promiscuous, I am loving, caring and compassionate.

I am educated and ambitious

Why do they insist of making me the laughing stock


Most Helpful Guy

  • "In the beginning I always state that I am a relationship girl, and I do not have times for games, lies and disappointment." This makes you sound like a demanding girl who doesn't understand that a relationship has to be earned. Many girls are like this, unfortunately.

    Imagine meeting a guy who acts as follows: "In the beginning I always state that I am a sex guy, and I do not have times for games, lies and disappointment." Would you want such a guy? Of course not! It's worse than that, actually, because this would at least show that the guy is confident, whereas what you are saying makes you come across as demanding, even aggressive, which is not good in a girl.

    Give a guy a teaser of what a relationship with you could be like. Show him what he is missing. Don't pressure him. If you develop the right mentality, he will end up wanting a relationship with you, and you won't even have had to stress out to get him to that point. It will have seemed a fun, effortless process.

    I speak as a man who has learned to make girls want to sex with him quite quickly. Do I still fail sometimes? Of course. But, when I do fail, it does not bother me. You need to develop the same mentality with regard to getting a relationship with a guy, and you will have many successes.

    • You need to unlearn what you think you know about men. For example, your education and ambition are of little importance. Men and women think differently and have different preferences. Unfortunately, we have had half a century now of political correctness that has utterly confused people.

Most Helpful Girl

  • are you overweight? are you good looking to most people? if you answered yes to the first question and hesistated to say yes to the second then that may be your issue. guys can be pretty shallow and dont want to be publically seen with a low status woman. and even if you may hhave good qualities on the inside, if you aren't hot on the outside most guys will try to use you for sex

    if you are a pretty/hot girl and still having these problems then you are running into fuckboys and you're probably too nice. what i mean is, you can be too accomodating to guys. stop giving men time if they aren't doing anything for you. dont text back, stay on the phone with him, take calls, and chill over at his house if he isn't taking you on dates and spending money on you. if he cannot publically appear with you and put in effort for you, then you shouldn't have time for him. sounds harsh but thats how you avoid the problem of men using you and trying to keep you a secret. you have to be a challenge and you can't be that easy breezy girl that a guy can just waste time with for an ego boost. only serious men need apply.

    you seem to be a great woman who would make a good man happy but you have to be hard to get. no hanging out and chilling (even if you aren't having sex) unless he is taking you out to decent dates and proud to be seen with you. you're better than that

    • I am attractive, I have an hour glass figure, I have my own car, I go to medical school, my dad has a profitable business. I don't know what it is, maybe it is fuckboys

      I like the second paragraph, I think I allowed myself to be more open minded after my fail relationships thinking that if I were nicer, the men would cater. I can't get commitment from a man that doesn't want any. I used to be a challenge in the past but I let myself go after I turned 23, may be I need to revert to that

What Guys Said 5

  • Youve had boyfriends before so retrace your steps

    But ill try to help and look for stuff
    Red flag #1 state you are in relationship with a girl? I wouldn't date a bisexual girl for nothing and you would be cheating on her if you talk to him

    Red flag #2 I do not have times for games, lies and disappointment" You seem a little to serious. Its good to be serious and say those things but you seem mean from the post.

    Red flag #3 "grand public appearance" what is this, seems like your expectations are too high

    Maybe you are too serious and not a person you could chill with and hang out with.

    All you need to have for all these men wanting fuck is a good body. What you need for a date is a good vibe and personality

    • you misunderstood everything I said, by saying that I am a relationship girl it means I do not engage in casual sex.
      There is nothing wrong with letting a guy know from the get go that you are mature in enough to handle the truth that a) he is dating several people at the time he is seeing you and b) if he wants to end things, do so and not string me along
      3) A man in a relationship, should not be ashamed to go out in public with his significant other. That's not high expectations, it showing pride in your partner

      Maybe I am too mature

    • Show All
    • oh no thats not,

    • I was typing on my phone, excuse the typos

  • Saying you're a relationship girl is so bad to say. Nobody wants an over clingy girl in the beginning. Clinginess comes after awhile when you become more emotionally dependant.

    • It just means I do not engage in casual sex

    • Well you shouldn't feel surprised if those guys ignore you. They want sex and you want marriage. You will find a man who wants the same thing as you. Dont change. Just don't give up

  • Because you don't hang around very good men

  • do you believe in GOD and his rules

  • Since jerks are the only ones rewarded by girls, all guys want to be jerks now.

    Good luck with that ladies.


What Girls Said 4

  • Below I read about your situation & appearance = duh, no wonder why guys are attracted to you sexually and as a girlfriend.

    When they are after sex only, they can't hear you say "relationship" and continue to test your actions for what they seek.

    As we grow older with more sexual experience, we give in faster = a sign that maybe they can have sex w/o a relationship, even though you stiff arm others b/c "they are cuter/smarter/craftier".

    These same guys have other gals after them to be their GFs, so will compete in all ways, fair & unfair, even spread rumors. If a guy is getting sex from you but pressure/consequences from a gal already an insider as girlfriend to him, possibly also sex... he usually caves in to the girlfriend

  • I have the same question. So many guys have said I'm sweet, would be great gf/wife material, etc., yet I'm nearly 25 and still haven't had a boyfriend. They always end up being assholes after they catch my attention so I'm still single.

  • Go after lonely loser guys. They'll marry you right on the spot. They're so used to being ignored by women, that they'll treasure the one girl who does want to be with them. And you don't have to worry about him running off with another girl since non of them wanted him in the first place.

  • Are you doing anything in the relationship to push them away and make them not want to commit? What are the reasons for these guys leaving you? Sometimes we do things that we don't realize are turn-offs... I'm sure you don't do anything intentionally though. And it could just be unfortunate luck on your part that you happen to get with guys who don't want the same things you do. Or maybe they just happen to find someone else and realize they've made a mistake being wth you, which is actually a blessing because you wouldn't want to be with someone who really isn't right for you.

    • I do not ask them to marry me or the sort. Maybe I am too quick to share myself with people that are too immature or undeserving.
      None of these girls are better than I am, but these men make it seem as if they are.
      I do love the last clause of your sentence though. It is probably best that things never worked out with any of these men, because it will be sad to commit to someone that is not right for me

    • Yeah, that last clause helps me to stay afloat whenever I get dumped. It helps me to not get upset with the person, but to actually thank them for the time they gave me and from saving us both from failure down the road when things could have gotten even more serious. Because I believe that every relationship is there to teach you something, even if it is simply what not to look for in your next partner. Don't give up your ability to open yourself up and trust; it's a gift. Not many people are willing or able to do that, and when you get with the right person, being able to do so will make your relationship much deeper and more meaningful. Always remember to never settle for any behavior in a guy. If you want a guy who doesn't drink, stick to your guns. There are millions of men out there. The one who fits your list exists.