Ok, I've never been insecure in any of the guys I was dating which was only two. I find myself very attractive young lady, I just turned 25 have a lot of things going for myself. I'm very confident in how I look took me a minute to get to this point being as though all my life I've been super petite, but recently I started to fill in in all the right spots. I've been with this guy for 3years now. At first we were just buddies but of course over the time we grew mural feelings for each other. He was the first to say "I love you" we met outside of our hometown I was in another state for work and he was coming to that state and reached out through social media to hang out. Fast forward we connected instantly. Fast forward again to now currently he just started this new job for this really known company where he'll be in charge of the marketing and promoting for their events. Now, he's a very attractive guy with great style and a great personality and anyone that meets him instantly enjoy being around him. Which was one of the attributes why I fell for him. We recently had an argument because I seen a video of him out and I felt the girl was way to touchy feely and flirty. Now instead of coming at him calmly I pretty much attacked him. Expressing how I didn't like that and that makes me look stupid and there needs to be certain boundaries. I get it women are everywhere but now he says that certain times he be afraid to invite me to places because he don't know how I would react in a club setting. I don't have a problem with him being socialable BUT there needs to be a respect and understanding between us two. Does that make sense? Can anyone give me any advice of how I should approach him saying this and what should I say? Please and thank you
How to handle a guy I'm dating new job path?
What Guys Said 1
This is a mutual respect issue that can have its vague spots. And obviously it's grater areas. It's hard to get two people on the same page when it comes to what is and isn't acceptable or is even an issue. In the video you mentioned this woman was as you put it way to touchy-feely , you saw flirting thus it was threatening and disrespectful on this girls part ; how did the boyfriend react to this attention? Did he totally ignore it or was he flattered at the attention? There to me is the devising line. If he brushed it off and didn't give this woman any thought I say no harm no foul as he didn't feed the fire of distrust. He did as he should have and maintained the respect that he has for you. If he was taken by the attention that's a different monster all together.
Common ground rule are best set in the developing stages of any relationship , this often prevents this sort of occupancy from ever happening. Adding or changing rule down the line creates an unwanted decision that can become a festering sore to the recipient of these unexpected changes.
So maybe have what I call a pow wow and calmly express you version of what you gathered from what you saw ( all accusations aside ) allow him to respond. Try to find common ground that defines what is and isn't acceptable for both0
What Girls Said 1
That is a really tough situation. Maybe you should talk to him calmly about it. Tell him that it makes you feel hurt that he doesn't invite you to places. Apologize for the aggressive behavior you displayed in the past and tell him that you will not do it/attack him again.0
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