Two questions: how is it dating someone who you hardly have similar interests with; how is it for an introverted homebody dating someone similar?

I'm a complete introvert in that I can momentarily enjoy hanging out or gisting and things like that, but ultimately, I'm either doing something "productive" (like making money or fixing something) or be in my room with the door shut. I enjoy a lot of things, mostly with close company (I'm horrible with people I can't express myself with which usually leads to diminished fun or crossing boundaries), but most times I'd just rather be alone.
Now, this was a problem in my previous relationship even though I tried to change. She is kind, pretty, lovely, straight down to earth, and has an open minded attitude. BUT, we have almost no similar interests. She believes the problem with our relationship was that I didn't want to change but that's because she has no idea how much I tried. How am I supposed to enjoy being in social situations I don't enjoy (club, sitting for hours chatting, not reading, playing games or watching something). It's not that I hate these things so it's not a matter of finding stuff to love, I don't, I understand their appeal, but they just don't appeal to me.

Now that the context is laid, back to my question. Are there actual couples like these that work out? How is it working for you? What actions did you take? Secondly, I was wondering how a couple made of two similar people of this type would work.

Even though we broke up months ago, it's being impossible to have interest in any other girls (could be because we kept in touch since it was hard for me to let her go through the pain without an outlet I allowed her vent on me) and now we're getting to a stage where it looks like we'll be getting back together. I love her cause she's been a gem for me and I'd like to get back together with her but if it's just going to be a repeat, I'd rather not put her in that situation and just find a way to move on.

I would like answers from any couples in any of those two situation.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am 19 and my boyfriend is 22. Neither of us drink or go clubbing. We are both introverted and have some social anxiety in large crowds. We have been together for almost 2 years and haven't had any major problems. Our values are the same and we share an interest many interests but still retain our individuality with certain differences between us. My aunt was very into socializing whereas my uncle was very introverted; they got divorced because neither one could find enough things to do together that they enjoyed. Think hard about being with her and don't compromise on everything that makes you you. If you don't like socializing, don't force yourself to. You will eventually resent it down the road. There are plenty of girls who are introverted like you out there and from my experience with my boyfriend, it works out great. 🙂


What Girls Said 1

  • My boyfriend is pretty much a hermit. Outside of some school events and his classes he's usually at home or in his dorm room. I'm kind of similar considering I'm usually at home for different reasons (the curse of being the responsible oldest sibling) but I do like to go out and do things a bit more than he does.

    As for stuff we do together, we have a lot of shared shows we watch and we like to play video games together and have movie nights. We also like to find random recipes to cook. I do ask him to come out with me, which he doesn't mind. He's made friends with my friends (and I've kinda made friends with his) so it's not like it's unbearable or anything like that.


What Guys Said 0

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