How do I choose?

So I am in a long distance relationship and been hanging out with someone close by. I know how this sounds, and before you go all "I am what's wrong with men" hear me out.

The woman I am currently involved with is great. She is funny and smart and incredibly sexy. I mean I have some particular tastes beyond some people's normal realm when it comes to sex, nothing weird but just adventurous. She is into the same stuff I am, with that and otherwise. In actuality if I had to put it to pen, she is pretty close to what I would build for myself in a woman.

The catch is I am a single dad and she is 7 years younger than me. Now I'm not old by any means but that is kind of where the problem comes in. She is younger and doesn't have a full grasp on the parent hood. Up to this point we have, what we called, a test run where she came for about 10 days and lived with us. It didn't end well. I think in our case distance works for us.

However, I have recently met this wonderful woman. She is very free spirited, also a single parent, a great mother, likes the kind of stuff I do and is into philosophy and stuff like that (which I am as well). I think she likes me, though we are "just friends". But I am pretty sure there is more there. I can see where it could go if both of us decided we wanted to.

The question I have, how do I decide between the two? I can see futures with both.


  • The Girlfriend
    Vote A
  • The Mother
    Vote B
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What Girls Said 2

  • T, Give the girlfriend, who you seem pretty uncommitted to, a chance! You said she is "pretty close to what [you] would build for [yourself] in a woman". Going from distance to close, and especially diving her into your life, is not a baby step, it's a big leap. So take another big leap for her sake, and give her a chance, rather than making huge assumptions about how she handles parenthood. She is not a mother, you KNEW this when you were dating her, and obviously took it into consideration then. She also took YOU into consideration when she allowed you AND your kid into her life as well. Those are two people she has to try to understand and take care of, without any experience in one aspect. Give her a break. And cut the flirting out with the other girl. You're a) asking for trouble and b) if you're already considering breaking up, then do it. It's not fair to string someone along like.

  • Good sex v. a potential future for you and your kid? Get your priorities straight and be a little realistic about life. Seven years is a big difference. She may grow to resent you for tying her down so young to a family. And to top it all off, how long does good sex truly last? Definitely not forever.


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