I'm 25 and my girlfriend is about to turn 25. We have been dating for about 3 1/2 year and we really love each other. When we have sex we always use protection but the last time we didn't cause it was kinda spur of the moment. She just found out she is pregnant and we aren't sure how to react. We are happy but we don't know what to do. We've met each others parents but our families aren't that close. A month ago we agreed we both would like to get married in about 2 or 3 years then have kid a little later. Can you guys help please
Most Helpful Girl
Know that keeping the baby will change your relationship, sometimes for the better sometimes worse. She's going to need you to show her just as much love and support as ever. I can understand if you're both scared but if you're determined to keep the baby you need to make sure you both can afford to look after him/her. If that isn't an issue, next you need to make sure you're both emotionally ready. Is your relationship strong enough to bring up a child together? If you know the answer to all of that and feel like you could both cope, then tell your parents. I'd suggest you tell them together. Either her parents first then yours, or both at the same time. They'll be more comfortable about you both having a baby if you can convince them that this is what you both want, and that you're both willing to do whatever it takes to look after each other and the child.
She's always going to be a part of your life and you in hers. It will also be much more difficult to go into another relationship if you have a child with another woman. If you're certain she's the one you want to be the mother of your children and you can't imagine your life without her, then this is the right choice.4
Most Helpful Guy
Well, you guys made a plan and now the plan just went out the window. Assuming your option B is an abortion, I will recommend exploring your option A before going for option B.
Don't worry. This is time to act like a man and propose to her. One of the greatest fear of a woman is abandonment. This fear is greatly increased during uncertainty periods, ESP pregnancy. Proposal or marriage are essentially binding promises you will be with her no matter what and she will not face the uncertainty alone. You don't need anything fancy, just your genuine commitment to be with her no matter bad it gets.
The second thing you want to do is to do a financial check up and planning ahead for the both of you. Families break 70% of the time because of money. Talk to a planner, talk to your families, your friends and draft out a plan. A child can be rough on a young couple but it's manageable as long as you are frugal.
You will feel you need to pick up the pace and work double hard for your family now. Do it. Just talk to your future wife before you start working double shifts. There are 2 of you now, better get used to the idea that you are not alone.
25 isn't that young so you both can work this out. Unless you guys are in law school or trying to get inot a higher degree education. Most people can work out their lives at 25. Remember to leverage the baby you have with your parents. My brother pretty much send the kids to their grandparents while both he and his wife work. The grandparents sort of liked it because they are old school and love the kids.4