What exactly am I doing wrong?

Hi, I have the terrible problem of not being able to connect or rather even gain female friends let alone a girlfriend. I'm a sophomore in college, and I have never been able to get a girlfriend. I don't particularly know why... I don't act desperate, clingy, or treat female friends any differently than I would a guy, but for some reason I can't even get a woman to hold a indepth conversation with me. I have terrible social anxiety, and i am on medication for it, and it's just so disheartening when i work up the courage to speak to anyone and they just don't seem interested. I just have no idea what I could be doing wrong.


What Girls Said 1

  • I have social anxiety too. I'm not on medication for it, but I feel like I'm suffocating and need to evacuate if I'm in a large crowd or sit in the front of a classroom. Do you have any vocal stigmas like stuttering or speak in a dialect other than standard English? And when you speak to girls, do you speak in a roundabout way or bring up topics that aren't really appropriate? And do you fidget a lot or have other nervous mannerisms when you're around girls? Maybe we can tease out whether it's something you're doing unknowingly that can be fixed which will explain why girls seem disinterested. And if we can't, it's possible you just haven't run into the right girl yet.

    • No, I don't have any speech impediments or a accent that would affect a conversation. As for the inappropriate topics, I don't bring up anything uncomfortable or lewd. Generally, I just make small talk to initiate a conversation. I say things that pertain to the course I'm in with the girl or something that is relevant to the situation around me that the girl could comment on. As for nervousness, the only thing I could think that i do (or rather don't do) is sufficient amounts of eye contact.

    • Ok, well none of that's a problem then. It's possible that you've just been unlucky enough to talk to girls who are already taken, which is why they're not seeming interested.

    • Could be, but i feel that there is a underlying reason as to why. Because 19 times out of 20 I can get a simple response, but after that they become uninterested in any form of conversation. And the 1 out of 20 usually ends up in a conversation, but the next time i meet her, she doesn't even acknowledge me. I dont know it's just frustrating and difficult.

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