I'm 20 years old, suffer from Aspeger's disease, and have not had a serious relationship. I have had girlfriends, but many of them were abusive or using me to kill time when I was new to the whole concept of dating. One of my exes actually tried to kill me (I'll spare the details unless anybody really wants them) and that was around two years ago. I still have strong trust issues, especially with women. My last girlfriend dumped me after telling me how much she wanted to marry me and have children (and tons of other crap I sort of didn't buy from the beginning anyways because of my inability to trust)... and it was right after I was truly beginning to open up to her and let her know about my depression and all the issues it's given me. I figured she wasn't worth it anyways. If she left me for my depression, she would have neglected whatever kids we may have had over it. And I would be damned if I brought kids into this world that went through the same neglect as I did with my mother (who's now entirely toxic and there's no way I can even have a normal conversation with her at this point).
This all in mind, I'm sure I'm going to get those generic "you're young, you'll find the one" answers... but I honestly can't buy that. Call me a sexist pig, but, I really am starting to feel like all the girls in my age range never know what the fuck they want and kind of think alike. Now, theoretically, I could ditch the video games and writing and my other passions and just turn myself into a hulking sports fanatic and probably get whoever I wanted... but what would that be? It would be living a lie. My life right now is, no doubt, miserable but at the very least I'm not with a fake who only wants me for looks or money. But if I continue to live like this... I probably won't find anybody. Do you think it's best for me to just give up on relationships completely and focus solely on my own interests?