Guys: do you think I should apologize to him especially if I want to patch it up or is it a bad idea?

this guy got me so hooked only 4 dates it's UNREAL how much he got into my head. Maybe I want a boyfriend so bad?

1st bail - he said he wasn't feeling well.. I let it pass it sounded like a hangover (it was a Saturday) we made up the date the next week.
2nd bail- we planned something and on the day OF, he never followed through! So it didn't happen. It was WTF moment.
3rd bail- He cancelled (Saturday) and wanted the next day instead. Because apparently, he has a killer headache and just wanted to relax.
4th bail- It was a Thursday after work that we scheduled, but he said he didn't have much energy and a Sunday would be much more fun instead. We can have dinner and do something fun. excuses. excuses! after that 4th bail, I cussed him out, "You have bailed on me 4 F**** times in a row. No one has ever done that to me... You proved enough that you don't respect my time and you're just not a serious guy. Now you want to reschedule? are you crazy? It's done." His response: "I am truly sorry for everything and upsetting you. I won't bother you again. I wish you all the best."
This happened April 8th and holy shit it's May now and I'm still not over it.
He is still on my FB and I am so tempted to messaging him and just say "I'm sorry if I cussed you out." Does he even deserve that though?


What Guys Said 2

  • You want to go back for another dose of that treatment? Whatever the hang up is, you need to get over it and move forward. Delete him from your FB.

    • I know right? ughhhhhh

    • So, before you move forward, make sure that you have learned a lesson from the experience. Don't give someone 4 chances to dump on you. After the second cancellation, you say "I'n beginning to see a pattern here. Perhaps it is just coincidence, but if this happens again anytime soon, all you're gone see is the back of my head as I'm heading out the door!"

  • Apology shows you have recognize your mistakes and want to make things up


What Girls Said 1

  • I see you are VERY hung up on this. I think it's because you have a feeling like it was your mistake and that if only you waited a bit more this could've worked out. It makes you feel like YOU were the one ending it, not him. And like you overreacted. But let me tell you something - HE was the one ending it. It was HIS fault. This guy wasn't interested in you in the same way you were in him. What you did was totally justified and understandable, you have NOTHING to apologize for! Now, the problem is that, even though you know it was the right thing to do, you still feel bad about it, even after so long. This guy manipulated you and MADE you seem like you were the one who didn't want to pursue further, because he's just one of those guys who do that, it's called lacking balls. So, before I continue, you must tell yourself and BELIEVE in that, that IT WASN'T YOU. Okay?

    Similar happened to me a month ago. The guy I was kinda dating kept making some lame excuses why he hasn't made any move on me yet, and I was just full of it. I straight up asked him what's his deal and he finally told me that he doesn't want to date me because he will probably move away and doesn't want to hurt me. He asked if we could just hang out because he thinks I'm cool. I felt led on and like a crap and I told him I don't want to be friends. He said he understands and then we said goodbye. It felt like the right thing to do, but even after a week I still felt pretty bumped up about it and kept questioning my decision. I felt the same way like you do now. Every neuron in my brain kept telling me that I should just forget about him, but I still felt kinda guilty and like I gave up too soon. I just couldn't take it anymore and I texted him. I told him I felt like crap and that I just needed to chill a bit, and that I would like to stay friends if he still wants to. He said he does and that he is glad and asked if we could have a coffee that day. Honestly, I felt stupid, but in the same time I felt relieved. I was ready to give our friendship a try and I really crossed him out of my dating list. it felt good. Yes, I ditched my pride and settled for his terms, but fuck it. Sadly, he told me he is moving in few days but that he will come back in some months. I'm glad we stayed in touch. We still talk and text to each other and who knows, maybe we do end up together. But if not, that's also fine, no expectations, I'm still gonna date others.

    To be continued...

    • So honestly, if you feel like you need to get this out of your hump, message him. Don't say you're sorry though, because there's nothing to apologize for. Write him whatever you feel like writing, let it all out. I suggest you propose him to be friends and just hang out. If he's still up for it then cool, if not then well you did everything you could and it's time to move on. But whatever you do, don't have expectations! Live throughout your day like he's not gonna call and like he's gonna bail again. Just don't care. Do not initiate any contact or hang out. Just let him know that you are willing to give this a shot, and that's all. In the meanwhile, keep living your life like he doesn't exist.

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    • Then just reach out politely, as a friend. :) But be prepared to make a fool out of yourself. He might do the same shit again. Only do it if you are willing to make a fool out of yourself and not care about it.

    • exactly why I am so hesitant...