I want to find a man, but I can't seem to find the motivation/time to go on dates?

misssouthernbelle
Lately, I've been starting to ponder why I'm still single. I've been in college and have my first job. My life has been busy, but I've went on dates in the last few years. They were either crazy or it wasn't mutual. I had a rough, abusive childhood and I've been getting therapy consistently for the past 6 months and I'm already a different person. I'm no longer passive, depressed, or in a victim mindset.

I'm assertive and making sure my needs are met for the first time in my life. It's been life-changing and people are having to adjust to the new me.

With that being said, I've just been noticing that my friends all have boyfriends and girlfriends and I'm over here having a hard time finding time to go on a simple coffee date. I can't seem to figure out if it's just me putting work and myself first, if I'm really just not interested in being tied down, if I'm still not used to being treated like I'm worthy and can't get used to it, or if I'm just someone who's asexual in the sense that I don't want a relationship, even though I'm attracted to men.

I just look at all these men and women that are in relationships and have to talk to each other each day and it's just not me. I'm really surprised the guy I'm supposed to have a coffee date with in two weeks (we've been talking for a month) hasn't quit messaging me. I'm very late to reply and I don't have to constantly be in contact with him. He can't go a day without messaging me. I postponed our date this past Friday because work had been absolutely draining (long hours) and didn't want our first date to be clouded by stress and me not be myself. He asked to meet today, but I have had so much "adulting" to do today that I couldn't find the time.

I long to be in a happy relationship, yet I can't seem to find the time to meet this guy. Maybe I'm more turned off by his over-niceness that I'm putting off meeting him? Maybe I don't want a relationship after all?
I want to find a man, but I can't seem to find the motivation/time to go on dates?
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