Am I just a friend that he can spill his guts to or is a chance for more?

The guy I like is new in town and we hang out a lot and constantly texting and stuff like that but the problem is he calls me to hang out with him. But when we do hang out he sometime talks about how he wants a girlfriend and then starts talking about some of the girls he thinks are cute. I'm I just a friend that he can spill his guts to or is a chance to let him know I like him?!


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  • from the sounds of it, he's treating you as a friend. if you like him, this can be a bit of a problem. I know he's new in town and he feels like you're someone he can easily pour his heart out too. you guys hangout and everything is cool until you realize that the time you spend together is making you attached to him. am I right?

    if you want to see if he likes you. don't make yourself too available to him. you said that when you go out, you guys just hang out. so I'm guessing it's something like grabbing some coffee and just sitting on a park bench and have him talk while you listen kind of thing. to me that doesn't sound like a date. he's just using you as someone to talk too as he doesn't have anyone or didn't find anyone to listen to his long list of problems. like I said earlier, if you want to find out if he likes you, don't always say yes when he asks you if you guys can meet, hang out and talk. like for instance, if he happens to call you that night asking to chill, either don't pick up the phone or just say that you don't have time at the moment and will call him the following morning to set up a time. or he can call you back tomorrow if he really wants to see you. if he calls or txts or leaves a msg. don't answer right away as that indicates that you're available at his disposal. make him wait a few days before you reply. I don't know how often and for how long you hang out with him. maybe keep these chill sessions to a minimal say 2 hours max. you don't want the guy to be eating up your precious time and it also makes it seem that you have nothing better to do. and don't see him twice in a row.

    i know you're trying be nice and helpful as he's new in town. but at the same time, you don't want to end up being the tourist guide as well as a psychiatrist by listening to him blabber about how much he wants a gf. if he really wanted one, don't you think he'd be going out on dates by now instead of wasting your time talking about it? if he really likes you, don't you think he'd be asking you out on a date to do something fun with you instead of just talking about how much he wants a gf. it doesn't add up nor does it make sense to me.

    anyway, I hope I've helped you out in some way. I mean if this question is picking at your head right now, I'd try getting things started. maybe ask him to go out on a date and see how things go from there. if he's still talking about other women, then it's safe to say he's not interested. aside from that I wouldn't even date him as he seems to be a bit insecure about himself if he feels that he constantly needs to consult you on such a matter. I mean talk is cheap, actions say more.

    • Yeah you are right. but I don't feel used because he's been here for a while and has made tons of friends I'm just that person he calls first.

    • Maybe because he knows that you're always going to be there for him. like I said, try not to make yourself too available and see if his behavior changes.

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