Did my boyfriend settle for me?

I'm currently in college dating my high school crush.
I was head over heels for this guy and we finally started talking when we both started attending me the same university. Lasy summer we had a "thing" going on we would hang out here and there but it was very inconsistent. I felt like he was hanging out with another girl during summer as well. KEEP IN MIND THAT he's NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND, he's very shy at talking to girls. It wasn't until the new school year started that we actually started hanging out a lot more again and started being serious and then we became boyfriend and girlfriend.. I recently went through his messages from last summer and he was talking to two other girls that go to school in another city like 5 hours away. They are very very pretty and he was hanging out them as well. I've confronted him about it and he said he's never had girls like him and that he was just laying out his options. But now I feel like he just settled for me just cause we live in the same city? He doesn't talk to them anymore but it's just the idea of what he actually wanted? We are very happy, but now I feel insecure and now I feel like he still might be curious with the "girls who got away"


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, to be honest he laid out his options and chose you. You won, so why dwell on it?

    It sucks, but this is the world we live in. Temptations are all over us. Now I totally identify with how you feel. I've been cheated on in the past and had a boyfriend who was also talking to other girls before too. It sucks big time to think that he has other options and you could lose him at any time. But honestly if he is willing to give up everything you have built, then it's for the better. You don't want to be with a guy who is willing to toss you away because a new option arrives.

    However, you also can't live your life in fear that your boyfriend will leave you. I say you just try to enjoy the relationship. If it ends, well then you will move on and be okay. People break up everyday. I'm not trying to sound insensitive, but you are strong and you will make it through if that does happen!

    One way for sure to drive him away is to worry about other girls who are from his past. In the end, he chose you over them. He could have kept in contact with them if he wanted to, but he didn't. I think that speaks volumes to how he feels about you.

    • This is probably the most sincere and best advice I have received.
      Although, the only reason why it did hurt me was because I already was sort of in the picture but I feel like he kinds of shifted me to the side and saw the beauty and potential of these two other girls. He hung out with all 3 of us during summer. know everything worked out at the end, but I feel like it was the fact that I'm the one who was very consistent with him. The other two girls left back to college and left him hanging. Now it only makes me wonder if he still would've chose me if one of them would have given him an actual chance or would have stayed in the same city.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No he chose you. He is enjoying the attention from the other women because he never had it before. He wanted you instead of the other women. Last summer he had fun and he came back and chose you because he wants to be with you. It should mean more now that he came back to you instead of the other women.

    • That's the way I would like to see it, but I feel like he stayed with me just because it was more convenient. We both go to a university close to our hometown, and the other girls go to a university far away.
      Once they went back to college that's when everything fell into place for us. But now I'm dwelling on what COULDVE happened if one of them stayed, what I still have been his choice?
      I may be over analyzing everything. I just wouldn't want him to feel like he settled for him in a way.

    • He won't because he has you. Why would he wonder what if when he has you.

    • I hope he doesn't wonder! Maybe I'm just overanalyzing everything. Ultimately I do think we are happy. I may just be a little insecure about myself because these girls were very very pretty and they are pretty cool. But I'd like to think maybe I'm cool too? Hehe

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