Why do guys ask for my number online, and then stop showing interest?

So I've been on this dating app (POF) for awhile and its getting me no where. Feel like I want to hit my head against the wall. Guys will give me their number to make it easier to talk and really show interest first and then after they get my number after a few initial msgs stop msging me all together or its like impossible to pull a convo out of them. I've been trying to be more selective and not give my number out to everyone but this keeps happening and its driving me nuts!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Since you don't mention having this problem with guys you meet IRL, I will assume this problem is limited to online dating. Do you think you are attracting the wrong kind of guy? That is quite often the problem and it may relate to something in your profile. Maybe your profile inadvertently creates an impression that you are, for example, a slut, and after a few conversations online, guys decide that you aren't so they go looking at some other profiles. I would suggest that you ask someone who you trust, maybe even someone a little bit older than you, to read your profile and then give you their honest, sincere opinions about their impressions. Even better, ask someone who only knows you online, because their impressions will be even less biased. You may be surprised at what you learn.

    I met my current girlfriend on POF and we have been dating for a year. She is extremely intelligent (IQ 140-145), cute, a retired judge, and an all-around great catch. YOu can get good results on POF but it takes some time and effort (just like life!)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Many guys online try to talk to a lot of different girls because the rejection or no-response rate online is really high. They figure if they cast a wide net they have a better chance than if they're really selective.

    You should actually do the opposite of what you're considering doing. Give more people a chance and only keep with the ones you like who respond and stay interested. If you get super selective, you'll be choosing guys who other girls also recognize are an obvious catch and so it's less likely those few guys will give you priority over everyone else they're talking to.

    Don't place too much value on a number. It's just a number, and if you don't like someone anymore you can just say you're not interested, stop replying, or block someone if it's really necessary.

    • I like what you wrote, especially the first paragraph. It is 100% accurate.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It could be one of these reasons:

    1. The Conversation Is One Way
    Meaning the guy is the one who keeps initiating issues to discuss, such that it becomes like a job-interview style of conversation. Once I realise, I'm the only person doing most of the discussion, I lost interest in the girl because the chat becomes boring.

    2. Showing No Interest To Know Me
    If the chatting is one way, usually the girl is making little effort to get to know me. I want the girl to seek to know my interests, background, aspirations, etc. Once, it becomes obvious the girl is making no effort to know me, I pull the plug immediately. I move on to the next available target, if any.

    3. The Girl is Awkwardly Boring
    I want to chat with a girl who breeds excitement, not a nun or self-aggrandising individual. I have cut chat with girls I have just met because I find them too shallow. Everything is about "I am this, that and this".

    4. Girls with ideals
    There is nothing wrong living your life by certain principles. You may have said something that turn guys off.

  • Because when you give the number you signal that you are easy and desperate.


What Girls Said 0

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