If not why?
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
Most Helpful Guy
There are a couple of issues here:
1. You never get to be a couple - you're always going to be limited by the needs of the child. You can't take off to Vegas for the weekend, or go to dinner on a whim, or even just enjoy a quiet night at home. It's an instant family, not just a girlfriend.
2. You'll never be her #1 - you'll be lucky to be #3.
3. If it doesn't work out, it isn't just hard on her, it's also hard on the kid.
4. In many cases, the guy literally ends up paying to raise another man's child.
5. Some men simply don't want kids.
Now, obviously, some guys are fine with a woman having kids and the issues that come along with that - maybe they've always wanted kids and love the idea of taking care of one. But you have to accept the reality that, all else being equal, most guys would prefer a woman without a child over one with a child.
Finally, saying "our relationship just didn't work out" really downplays the fact that you chose to create another human being (!) with a man that you almost certainly didn't choose very wisely, and that tends to mean that you make life-altering decisions with relatively little care. That's not a trait that most men look for in a girlfriend or potential wife.
Obviously I know nothing about your specific situation, so don't take that personally (unless it applies), but it's a legitimate data point for someone to use when evaluating your suitability as a relationship partner for them.3
Most Helpful Girl
Best case scenario (for me) they separated due to death, but then I'd have big shoes to fill.
If they had a child out of wedlock, then the man obviously isn't responsible enough to use birth control.
If they had a failed marriage, then I don't want to be with someone who fails at that. If they just didn't work, then the guy obviously didn't care enough about marriage to get married so easily to some one not good enough.
I won't marry someone who's been married, it isn't really about the child.
Marriage and children is the final, most important vow one can make. Not my fault you wasted it on someone else. My ideal relationship is someone who'll save the best for last. even if it takes me 10 years to be sure, I'll date someone that long to be certain my choice is correct. To tell you I think this is it, and I'll only ever love one person enough to marry him.
If my marriage fails, then I will just give up after that.
(I know it's extremist, but id rather love fully or not at all)0