This question is interesting by the fact that i've seen myself being put in the friendzone like many guys. Sometimes, i see myself being considered less "desirable" in a group for guys less attractive than me. Less attractive, i do not sound mean neither do i say that in the shallow side of the social considerations "ugly vs good looking". I've seen friends and coworkers being put aside by guys less interesting than them, with no interesting hobbies, no interesting opinions, and sometimes less tidy, worse looking. What is shocking to me is that many of those who i've seen considered more desireable even had bad reputation as players.
Once i've realised this, i got dissapointed, that what i deemed good values where "bad".
I tried to be less friendly and i even got some succes with that! a very preety girl got interested in me and got other two suggestions of "availability". However, i just couldn't keep that for long since that was just not me. I was being unhappy with myself by that way, by acting like a foul, player. I resumed being a gentleman and single. Happy again.
I was told by a college girl, who i used to study with and used to be a very good friend of mine, that i was so sweet and i was "every girl's dream". Despite how much friends we where, the first thing that crossed my mind was "ha-ha very funny, your boyfriend is flirtatious with other girls and arguably stupid" but i just smiled and said thanks..
Later, a coleague of mine, asked to have lunch with me to talk. Conversation comes and goes, and then she started to reveal her views on me wich was confusing. She said i was cute and innocent looking, really adorable and i should give girls more atention since they do talk about me but i was too shy. Again, my mindset portrayed their previous boyfriends, their facebook stuff and i got skeptical. But, once again, just said thank you! laughing inside like hell.
So all in all, why do women say one but take two?
Let me refrase: "wtf?"
Most Helpful Guy
There are two elements to the human.
There is the rational side which assess situations based on pragmatics and there is the primitive / emotional side which assess situations based on base needs and wants.
Humans mostly act on the p/e side while expressing the r-side of things. It is why hypocrisy exists where we know we should not do something but we do regardless.1
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