He hasn't replied to my initial message, been a day...(?

Do guys play the whole "let me make her wait a bit" game over 30, or should I just forget about him? Probably should forget regardless, but I want a man's perspective.

we liked eachother for a bit but the timing was off.


What Guys Said 2

  • Never been over 30, but I work full time so it's not uncommon for me to look at a message, think "I'll answer later" and forget for a while. It's not a game or out of malice just other things going on.

    A day is nothing. If he doesn't answer after 3/5 you should either prompt him for an answer (text again) or move on depending how interested you are.

    • Yeah but from a girl, you're interested in? You'll forget for awhile?

      Yeah I guess a day is nothing, have you taken long to reply to a girl you're into?

      Not being sarcastic, genuinely interested in men's takes.

    • I've waited a few days before getting back to them because I didn't know the days I had off the following week yet. Didn't want to call them just to say "I'll arrange it later". So yes I've waited... forgotten? Not so much. Although we don't know that's the case. I'm just saying my mind does wonder through the day and I remember to call people back way too late.

  • Who knows. Everyone is different... But from your point of view the timing was off. To me this sounds like you weren't interested when he was into you. Now you want him... So if that were me, I'd just think you were a flake and not waste time on you.

    • One of us was always comitted. im not a flake and he knows it.

    • Show All
    • No, and neither was he

    • So the other guys were better and he was just the guy on the back burner?

What Girls Said 1

  • It's possible he is just busy. A day isn't really that long, yes it seems frustrating, but he might just be running around or have things going on.

    I say give it a few days. Gauge his responses, if he doesn't give you much of a response message and only writes "Hey" or any short message then I would definitely be frustrated.

    The best thing you can do is wait. Give him some time. People get busy. How long have you been talking? If it's just the beginning he could just not be too focused on it right now. That's totally normal. But give him a chance. If after having a few conversations he still seems to not be super interested, then walk away.

    • He's been active several times, but maybe just reading feeds, whatever. I'm interested enough not to press on and make it worse for myself. I did enough, if I have to do more, then I got my answer. Have you waited long to get a reply from someone who actually liked you? In the early stages I mean. In this case it was the first email, so it could be ANY reason.

    • Yup, I find most guys now take a week or so to reply. Not really sure why. I feel like sometimes people are just busy. But I definitely don't work too hard to keep the conversation going. If they want to talk, then they'll talk.

      I've been talking to this one guy for 7 months. He seems nice, and we just recently exchanged numbers. I think he's kind of shy. That could also be the problem too. If he's shy he may be worried about saying the wrong thing. You may have to initiate and push things along.