Taking things slow?

Last week I asked a girl that I work with if she wanted to hang out sometime and got her number. She was pretty quick with a yes and immediately gave me her phone number. We flirt a lot at work and I started texting her a couple days later. In one text I asked her if she wanted to go on a date sometime and I didn't get a response. (I know this isn't the best way to ask a girl out but it'd been our main form of communication so I went with it). Today another friend at work said that the girl was only interested in being friends and presented this as the worst possible news I could ever hear. So I went up to my crush and told her that if I got the wrong impression that I was sorry and that I had a crush on her, blah blah blah. It was an awkward but funny situation in my book. She said that she just wanted to take things slow and I, of course, said no problem.

Only problem, I don't entirely know what that means. Is it worth me pursuing this girl's friendship to a romantic end? I have no problem having more friends but she's definitely crush-worthy and I am very attracted to her and would like to see it go somewhere.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Typically when someone says to take things slowly, it doesn't mean the door is closed to a potential relationship. You have to begin with something like a friendship, build upon that and establish a foundation of trust, communication, hanging out, shared interests goals etc. and see if leads to something deeper like a relationship. I think some of the best relationships start out from friendship. I understand your concerns and hesitation especially since you like her so much. I think you should go at a pace she is comfortable with, see how things progress naturally and go from there. Don't put all of your eggs into one basket, just wait and see what happens. I am sure she has been hurt, let down or betrayed in the past and this is why she is being cautious. I am not saying you will do these things to her, I am just giving you insight from her possible perspective.

    Good luck.

  • I agree with green-eyed gal below. She may be interested in you, but a bit leery of dating in general. So what to do from here? Keep showing interest in her, continue texting ON OCCASION - ie frequently enough to show you are interested in her, but not so much that she feels pressured or rushed (or stalked!). As she becomes more comfortable with you texting her, make a phone call and just get to know her better. The point of the first call is not to get a date, but just to let her talk and feel comfortable with you. Things will progress, I am sure. I think you will be the one who has to make the moves here, but be alert to her giving you signs of being more comfortable and wanting things to progress. Trust your gut too. If you feel like it's not going anywhere, back off for a while and see if she contacts you.


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