Who Pays For the Dates?

i had this conversation with a lot a girls (mostly ones im interested in dating) and a majority of the time it becomes a huge debate when i say we are doing 50/50. they get angry and say why should they pay and what not. and some of my guy friends (even my mom once) told me that a jackassed system. hell i been called a "Fuckboy" and been given the Chivalry is dead speech for saying this.

i learned in my time when i pay for everything i end up getting "used" as they just see me as a free day/meal and etc and try to push their luck. and that when i go 50/50 , these girls actually stick around and what not.

some of my friends say they never had to pay for a date, the girl paid for it all.

so how does GAG Do it? this hopefully should make a Fun discussion

  • The guy Pays. Its only right. its been that way forever
    Vote A
  • the Girl pays. Lets Be Different
    Vote B
  • Whoever asked the person out pays. Why should i pay if you asked me to come out the house?
    Vote C
  • 50/50 (both pay). its only fair, We both are doing the activity.
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
im actally impressed that we been able to get a civil Discussion on this matter without anyone calling anyone a child like on other sites.

im also impressed with the results so far. more guys (5-4-3) Feel like the guy should pay. while more girls (11-5-3) are more in favor of the 50/50 system.

Keep up the good discussion/votes guys and gals


Most Helpful Girl

  • We do 50/50, and sometimes I even pay for his meals if he's having a tough time or been especially nice. I make more money than him, anyways ;P

    If a guy on the first date paid for my meal, I'd freak out. I'm not comfortable taking from someone I know nothing about. It feels like I'd owe them something, or they're expecting me to keep dating them, and this is their bait. Lol, not gonna happen. I won't be guilted into having another date with a possible psycho.

    Now, looking back at all the meals I paid for myself, and looking at all the free meals girls get away with, I realise I've been stupid. I should just start leeching meals off boys for free now.

    • lol i hear that from the better girls i meet now, they aren't comfortable with a guy paying for them. and lol as for the bait thing. growing up i was raised that the guy always pays (and my sister was raised like this too but to always have her own incase) however i realize that most girls today will try to run you dry, thats not cool and refused to be played as a fool.

    • Yeah, man, I don't mean to sound on my high horse or anything because I'm not the perfect girlfriend either, but when I look at girls nowadays, many are incredibly good at playing guys. I mean... They go on Tinder, not to sex but to get confidence, and then bail at the last second; They flirt, again not to sex but for self-confidence... I just don't know xD

      But in all honesty, shit, I wish I had no conscience either so I could do stuff like that and have all to gain and nothing to lose!
      They don't realize they're hurting people, that's all. They seem to see it from a very different perspective I guess.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with @Aetumn. If they want equality, they lose the 'Lady benefits.'

    When I invite someone out, I expect to pay since I invited them. If I get invited out, then I don't expect to pay. And it's been kinda cool that I would pay for the movie or dinner, and my date right away wanted to cover desert or coffee right after. And we would wind up taking turns. I'm okay with that.

    I would say be okay with paying when you invite. You might be pleasantly surprised that your date wouldn't mind picking up the movie if you picked up dinner.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Take turns, share whatever. Women want rights? They don't keep the 'lady' benefits -_-

    • this is my argument when they start saying complaining. and has been a running joke with some of my friends. that some girls only want "Feminism when its "convenient" if a girl works i dont see why she can't pay for some of the thing

    • Show All
    • Well perhaps you might want to make things clear beforehand. But it is surprising to see the girls expect to get invited.
      If it's the first date, and you invited, why not (I pay for both when inviting a guy on a date, seeing I consider he's doing me a favor, on the first date). But on a daily basis it's odd.

    • i make it clear before we go out when the planning starts. that its going to be 50/50 due to things i dealt with before. on some cases i pay for things after the intial activity (moreso if its something i requested, say a movie) but i get what you mean

  • It really shouldn't be this huge ordeal. When I have a steady boyfriend or I'm going out with someone regularly, we tend to take turns. On the first couple of dates, I always offer to split it, but if he says not to worry about it, I won't. If I invite someone out, I pay for us both.

    Just do what seems fair and courteous.

  • When you first start dating, the first month or so the man should pay for the dates, thats how you "court" a women. When the relationship matures you begin to share who pays, she'll say "i got it" or "let me get this one" after you pay several times; if she's the right kinda girl. But you have to serenade your women or she won't be your women. women bitch about wanting equality, etc but what we really want is for a guy to take us to dinner, tell us were pretty and take control of the relationship. Good Luck !

    • How do you court a man? :/

    • Show All
    • When you first start seeing someone you try to take them out for a nice date every weekend but you can so other things, like grab a casual meal or go to the gym together whenever. but i would attempt to take her out every weekend for the first month.

    • @AleDeEurope i guess you would do the same thing. but if a man isn't interested in courting you, he probably isn't interested in you

  • I dont like talking about this but my answer will ALWAYS be the same.

    Whether the girl invited the guy to a date or vice versa - a guy should always pay!
    Almost everyone will disagree with me on this but I dont give two shits. Therefore, a guy should always pay no matter what. Unless of course theyre dating for a very long time and thats when they can split the bill or she can pay. But 2 kagillion years ago, men always paid.

    • Wait so the girl invites the guy, but the guy has to pay for both parties? and about the guys always paid thing, read one of my replies above.

      Girls had no jobs/ money back then. it pretty much was demanded that the guy paid. now BOTH parties work and make money, Why keep the same system. cause its "Traditional" Traditions Change all the time

  • Not really 50/50 but separate checks. I'll pay for mine you pay for yours.
    If I really wanted to take you out and treat you though then I'd pay.

  • We take turns paying. Sometime I'll pay and sometimes he'll pay.

    • after a while of dating (or hanging with) the same girl i honestly convert to this system.

    • Yeah we've been together for a few years now. In the beginning he did pay for everything even though I offered every time. I think after we were together for a month or so, he accepted my offers to pay. Now we just take turns

    • lol thats nice. girls who im friends with tell me that guys offer to pay but they always try to pay for themselves.

What Guys Said 6

  • Split it 50/50, if they don't want to (like if you go to dinner)- pay your 50% and let them wash pots in the kitchen to pay their bill if they don't have the money and assumed you'd pay. lel

    • to avoid things like this (i actually had this nearly happen once) i tell the girl in advance now that its 50/50 Regardless of who invited who. and i leave it to them to either cancel the date (which has happened) or to find money.

      i only throw away the rule if she's not working but its rare i date a girl who doesn't have a job

    • Show All
    • @Asker Well you let them know so it's up to them, if they wanna get paid for the whole time then they ain't worth it!
      @Iron_Man hahaa it's only fair!

    • Yes it is

  • First date: The one who asks.
    Other dates: Split 50-50.

    • in most cases this is probably the guy (the first date) im hoping you tell the girl at some point that its 50/50 time. this is why i just do it from the jump

    • I don't have to tell her, she should offer if she's a good girl.

  • After a while its a 50 50 split Dutch treat

  • Should be 50/50. If the girls are pissed because of that, then they are not worth it. Sometimes women do this as what i call a shit test. They test you to see if you have balls, if you are a nice guy they can step or if you are a man.

    Pay stuff for women when they / if they deserve it, not when they want.

    • this is why i do 50/50. as pointed out a MAJORITY of the girls who i offered to pay for tried seeing how much they can get out of me b4 i put my foot down. the 50/50 system got rid of these girls and kept the ones who actually wanted something real. (or good friends)

  • Just pay for what you got. If they have an issue with that then they're an idiot.

  • If I were a woman I wouldn't have much use for a guy who was over concerned with the question. Usually when a girl asks me out or decides where we are going to go I will let her pay if she tries to, if not I'll pay without a word but it's not a mark in her favor. If I ask her out or choose the place I always pay.

    • fair enough. i know what im doing and i state it ASAP. so no girl can't say they werent warned