How can I get this guy to call me his girlfriend and make it a committed relationship?

Been seeing him almost a year now and he won't make it official cuz he says he's not ready yet. He isn't ready apparently to give me full commitment and the emotional aspects of it. I've said i love you to him but he doesn't say it back cuz he doesn't know what love means and he can't tell me how he feels about me. He says he cares yet everytime I mention that I want him to make it official he won't. I've been patient for what seems like forever and I know he has to make some decisions about his life right now, plus the fact that he's a damaged individual but i feel like if he really cares about me he will make this happen. What should I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think ur too worried about titles and that could hurt you in the long run. keep going on dates and have a lot of fun. eventually he might come around, or you'll break it off. But you will look back on it as a fun time, not a waste of time.

    • does it matter that im sleeping with him?

    • i dont think so.

    • thanks for your help! im trying to do this cuz he's fun to be around but i am wondering if he will ever commit to me-i dont wanna bug him and i also dont wanna have to sacrifice what i want in a relationship for this. will see what happens.

  • Your problem is that you have been fooling around with him for a year. If you had set out to only have commitment from the very start then he would have respected your stance.

    At the moment, you have demonstrated that you do not stick to what you want (shows lack of willpower and boundaries). There is no reason for him to commit, especially after a year of not doing so.

    ''Emotional aspects of it'' that sounds like a big headache, again, what does that bring to his life? Sounds like you are offering him more expense, drama (emotional aspects) and less freedom. Sign me up... said no one.

    • How can I change this? And i think i have stuck to what i want cuz i have brought it up to him a lot

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    • why can't he just commit to me if he really cares about me and loves me, why should the sex matter?

    • Most men secure a relationship to secure sex, and most women secure sex, to secure a relationship. A simplification but that's what it boils down to for the most part.

      You ask ''why does the sex matter'' and he asks ''why does the commitment matter'

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