Do I specifically tell him interested before dating other people or just let him deal with it bc I've already asked him out?

Unfortunately complicate story and I really just want to focus on what to do now. But briefly, met this guy a while ago. We liked each other slot. He ready to date just in case we had a future. Myles font so much. But it took me awhile to sort out that I just was not ready. And by the time I figured it out I'd pretty much totally alienated him. Hey did admit he was hurt and disappointed but we never rally resolved anything. I wasn't good at communicating and he had a wall up which I totally get. Year later were talking age in. Which I was not expecting. I REALLY like this guy though I'm not good at expressing it. I'm horrible at it actually. He most if the time acts like he doesn't get I like him. Even though I've asked him out. But he's asked me too and I'm not sure he's interested either , so I guess it's possible.

He's the first guy I've really liked and I'd just rather try things with him before anyone else. But I'm 22 and no dating experience, , so I WOULD like to get some experience in while I'm young. At the same time I'm not really in a rush I mean I don't think any to say anything and have him think it's an ultimatum. But I also think he should know I'd rather date him first in case he's interested. But I also don't want a big deal. I'd if there's a way to raise anything without making it seem. bigger than I mean it. Like I'm not saying I want to jump into anything. I just want a clear view of whether there any possibility of anything at all at some point. And if I don't wait should just give a time. limit to myself?

  • Tell him you're interested in trying again but want to go slow. If he needs time to think it over he has one month. After which you'll move on if you have not heard from him. ( this might also be a girlood time to apologize for being a prick) .
    Vote A
  • See other people now if he's Interested down the line and you're free then you can date. ( gotta say I'm really uncomfortable with this one. But I'm putting it here in case people think it's a good Idea.. to me it seems cheap.
    Vote B
  • Other.
    Vote C
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What Guys Said 2

  • Other.

    What you need to do is not to move slow. You're moving at a fucking glacial pace. Things will not stay like this. Either you two become a couple, or one or both of you finds a good relationship, and leaves this holding pattern behind.

    Tell him directly you were scared before. Tell him you'd like to try dating him. Not like maybe in the future, because that would be stupid. Now. If you're both single now, and you are now ready to move forward, then actually see if he's interested in moving forward.

    You've been talking for well over a year. You know each other well enough to try being a couple (you probably did a year ago). It works out, or it doesn't. There will be challenges there always are. The question is whether you two can work through them.

    There's nothing to wait around for. Get together or move on.

    • What if telling him scares him off because he gets the wrong idea. Or I screw things up bc I wasn't quite ready and I just want out.. aren't people ready when they know each change other other better?

      It's weird. I seemed to have a more positive reaction to your response because it speaks to something I actually think I guess. At the same time I have this feeling of impending doom at the thought of being that realistic about things openly with him. Maybe be I'd rather do things in one way and possibly he's not the person it'd work with. I guess I really don't like how long and conokucagdd this got. And if I really can't imagining getting out of it with him maybe were not a good match.

      Do you think it's possible to feel like you're doing the wrong thing just bc you haven't experienced any other way of doing it. I always feel like I should wait. But it's true I can't wait forever.

      " scared" don't think I could say that even if it's true kind of embarrassing... He will proabably

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    • Oh. So much for incognito. Forgot I was using a friends account and set up an account so I can message... Which actually I can't till I'm exper level 2. Any idea how long that takes? And does that mean you can't message me. Weird rule.

    • Guess I'll send you a message when I reach Xper level 2. If this question is still relevant by then. Thanks for the tips so far.


  • Just tell him what your thinking, how your feeling. Your title gave me the impression you wanted an open relationship with him and wanted to be able to see other people too. Your story didn't give that impression?

    If you just want to hangout and hook-up once in a while.. let him know. You said" I REALLY like this guy though I'm not good at expressing it. I'm horrible at it actually. He most if the time acts like he doesn't get I like him. " Well you did blow him of before. Most girls think the guy is ignoring the signs... we just don't see them the same way girls do. I just take them with a grain of salt ( don't think they mean anything). That's why I only go out with aggressive girls, they know what they want and "Clearly" express their intentions.

    If you don't tell him.. you'll never know what it could have been.. or how he feels know.

    • Well we're in an awkward place e either on th verge of dating or moving on. At least on my part. It's just if I'm going to date anyone I'd rather try with him at same time I ahem this feeling that with him I need to go very slowly... but if I'm wrong about him or about going slow with him, I could be wasting Time that I could be spending with him or someone else...

      Nothing seems right. Doing nothing, doing something... just feel kind of lost.

    • Definitely need to do something. If it doesn't work with him at least it would give you the answer that you need to put some time towards finding someone else. I personally flirt with girls I like and if they don't reciprocate the feeling/flirting... I just assume she isn't interested. I put them in the "friend zone", life's too short to be wasting time with "undecided" people.

What Girls Said 1

  • See other people, don't wait around for him

    • Telling him isn't waiting around.

    • Well it's it really waiting g around to talk about it and even waiting a month isn't waiting bc there's no one else I like and I'm barely ready to date him and I've known him many months.

      Other than thinking I should not waste time, is there any other reason you think I should not wait?

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