My girlfriend cheated on me, don't know how to handle this?

I would never thought I'd be on these sites, but here I am looking for answers
Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years
only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying
she's been having an affair on me with my best friend
my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this
we met in 2007 till now we still together 2016
and the affair started 2011 when we met, till 2016
which is over 5 years
I don't know what to think or to say to her
she's confessed everything to me about the affair
such as time, places, when and where
I asked why she's doing this to me
as i have been a loving caring boyfriend always supported her.
Sh e tells me its all her fault, she didn't intend to hurt me in any way
she's says she's remorse full and she couldn't go on with the lies anymore
and it was just sex with him, it didn't mean anything
I can't tell u guys how I'm feeling right now
as i have not drank any water or eaten any food for over 3 days now
and my sleep pattern is all over the place, I'm devastated and heart broken
as I don't understand why she's doing all this to me
she says it was only sex with him and she felt that she had to end it with him
as she realized her love for me, and now she talks about starting a family with me
and marriage, I'm so so confused, i still love her as we have been together for over 9 years
but this is too much to swallow
If there's anyone who like to comment please do as I'm looking for answers
Thank You For Reading.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Sex is emotional for women, we have an emotional connection to any guy we sleep with on some level, and the fact that she was sleeping with your best friend and it was ongoing, I call bullshit on it being "just sex" with no emotional attachment.
    2. She didn't do it once, so the "it was just a slip-up or made judgement call" can be ruled out. She made the conscious decision to continue cheating on you, showing complete disregard for your relationship and your feelings. She did not value your relationship enough to be honest or own up the first time, or gee not do it in the first place!
    3. Oh she realized she loved you and wants a family with you now she's fucked your best mate numerous times, ha, dump her ass. Don't buy into that bullshit. She didn't need to screw some other guy to figure out if she wanted a life with you or not, and if she wasn't fulfilled in your relationship (which is the issue here or she wouldn't have looked elsewhere for fulfillment) then she should have talked to you in the first place if she had respect for you at all.
    Know that you deserve way better than that, her excuses are not justified, she had a choice and she chose to lie, cheat and make a mockery out of your relationship, you really want to even consider marrying a woman like that? Or raising kids with her? Nope, done.
    P. S. She will put on the water-works and use emotional manipulation and beg, anything to try to keep you, but where was all this "conscience" when she decided to keep sleeping with another man?

    • made a bad judgement call*

    • I agree with this 100%
      You want to forgive because you feel terrible right now but the relationship is shattered. It will never be the same. I say detach. In time it will get better.

Most Helpful Guy

  • She's an unworthy slut, and your so-called friend isn't really a friend.

    Purge both of them from your life, cope and grieve for as long as you need, then get back to dating whenever you're ready.

    Don't rush the healing process, that is how people become choronically broken.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • This is a good time to suggest taking a break. I will recommend you to stay at a friend’s in order to clear your mind so you can think clearly about the circumstance and refrain from saying things you’ll regret.

    Talk to a professional therapist alone and if that goes well, perhaps your girlfriend can join you. Be honest about how your perception of her has changed, but don’t be callous. Explain that the separation is not a punishment for her, but a release for you both at this time.

    It would be unfair for you to suffer in silence and it would be unfair for her to live under a roof where she can have no chance of redeeming herself in your eyes. Distance can give great perspective.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

  • ... Me and my girlfriend have been together for over 9 years.
    It appears here, dear, that Being you Both have been in this Long Relationship as Two birds of a Feather who have stuck Together, she got this "7 year Itch" I call it and started Flying in another Direction.
    Flying elsewhere, and Sadly and Badly it Was With A... Bestie.
    I don't find your Bestie such a "Bestie" anymore. Firstly, Drop him like a Hot Wings. He is not a Friend to the End and now you can't Even Ever Depend on him ever being Trustworthy.
    As far as You and your Poor Broken heart and a Girl you have Loved so long and so Dearly goes, this is Something you have a Choice in the Matter with on your own End.
    I am feeling your Pain on such little Gain That she Stabbed you in the Back with your Bestie, and you are now Wondering if she Is... Trustworthy.
    Everyone though Does Deserve a Second Chance in Romance as I always say on here, dear. And with this, Trust, Must be Earned, not Expected. With some Open lines of Convo and a lot of Hard work as two Team players, you Both would Need to get Together and Team up again and Come to some Understanding that if it Happens Again... She is Gone, my Friend.
    Good luck. xx

  • I wouldn't take her back honestly

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.
    But she's a cheater, I won't buy into her words if I were you.

    • Yeah your probably right

  • If she cheated on u let her go move on find someone better then her (I hate cheaters) lol

  • Stop being a little bitch. Stand up for yourself because the more she gets away with the lower the bar becomes

    • Harsh yet true words, she cheated you for over 5 full years, 1826 days. That type of betrayal severs a relationship FOREVER.

What Guys Said 3

  • Dump the bitch.

    Why even ask any questions about what to do?

    Why have you not already dumped her?

  • lol troll

  • Is she the only one saying this or did your friend confess too? Maybe talk to your friend to get some more info on this. And you have to break up and move on because clearly she is not trustworthy.

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