Guys, Is me being fearful and confused appropriate In this circumstance?

I watch YouTube very frequently and lately I've been watching a lot of mgtow videos. Everything being said in the videos makes sense and sounds accurate. But the thing that makes me fearful and confused is men not wanting to get married. I mean women trying to use men for their resources sounds pretty f***ed up, and it makes sense for men not wanting to be chivalrous or get married. But, what about women who aren't gold diggers? I mean some must exist since the acronym nawalt exists. When I think about what it would be like to get married I don't envision me nagging and being obnoxious, I see myself cooking for him, cleaning up the house, trying to look my best for him, giving him back massages, and asking him how his day was. Is it wrong of me to want to stay at home and do the things I listed while he works? ( oh , and I don't think men should pay for everything.) And if a guy felt like I was just using him by me staying home while he works then I would go out and get a job , or I could even have a part time job and do a bit of both.( housekeeping and work outside of home). I am fearful because being married sounds like a nice thing. Are there men who still want to get married? Should I change my way of thinking concerning this topic?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This issue highlights a significant problem in our culture. Too many men feel that women take advantage of them by staying home with the children while the husband works and earns the money. This is especially true of the MGTOW crowd (I call them MFTOCEM: Men Fixin' Their Own Coffee Every Morning.) If you don't value the contributions that are made at home then, of course, you will view women as "taking advantage of" men. But parents not being at home with their kids, letting their babies grow up in day care, is why families don't stay together, why divorce rates are so high, why so many women are unhappy.

    MFTOCEM are very angry men and everything they say about women is distorted by their anger. Listening to them talk about women is like listening to the KKK talk about race relations.

    The bottom line for you is that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about marriage and long term relationships. All that is important is for you to understand what YOU want and to find a partner who shares your beliefs and goals. You don't need to satisfy anybody else's expectations and you don't need to let them tell you how to think. Be strong and resolute because you are talking about YOUR future. If you do not look out for yourself, who else will do that for you?

    Good luck!

    • Thanks a bunch for the reply ! The main thing mftocem's say Is that women don't do those things anymore and that most women 'hit the wall" in their late twenties - early thirties. I have been immensely fearful because of the things said in the videos, but what you're saying makes a lot of sense.

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    • I base it partially on what other men who've been through it tell me, and mostly on my own experiences with marriage and divorce.

      My divorce was relatively quick and painless compared to most men, and she got the lion's share of everything. She COULD have gotten even more, but she wore herself out with the games she was playing and took the deal I offered her. Strange coincidence that she did so right AFTER the guy she was cheating on me with called my lawyer and offered to testify on my behalf... Not that it would have mattered, infidelity means exactly FUCKALL to the court, thanks to No-Fault (read: Always The Man's Fault) Divorce laws.

    • Dividing assets 50/50 is bullshit too. Just being there entitles her to 50% of everything? For the last two years or so before I showed her the door, my ex did nothing except spend money buying bullshit on eBay. She didn't clean the house, didn't do dishes, didn't do laundry... and then my lawyer tells how the law says she gets half, but because the house was pre-marital property AND an inheritance, it should be OK but she might be able to get some of the equity. WTF? AND half of my retirement? Which she contributed not a penny into, since I was the one actually working at the job that paid into the account? Oh, but I don't get any of HER retirement, because reasons.

      But like I said, compared to most men I got off easy. And I learned my lesson. I won't get married again. I'd rather be tortured to death. At least that pain only lasts weeks or months, instead of decades. And you've always got the option of swallowing your own tongue.

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What Guys Said 6

  • There is not one single benefit for a man to get married in this day and age, not one. The NAWALT acronym exists because in life there are always exceptions... even if it's just one needle in a haystack...

    All a man needs to do is completely ignore everything any woman says to him and just sit back and watch all of her actions...

  • MGTOW raise some valid concern and observations, but their conclusions are massively flawed. Unfortunately it will just grow. Look at the hebivore phenomena in Japan (= more and more men stepping back from being interested in women, though its also for more drastic reasons in Japan that when a woman marries she instantly stops working. Adult-diapers outnumber baby-diapers by now).

    Why is that? Because men and women aren't complementing and learning form each other anymore, but instead competing. Women turn into men and men turn into wusses. And I don't see that development stopping anytime soon. Read here:

    That being said it just means you need to look more to find a proper partner. While there are less potential available ones it doesn't mean there are none. There are still plenty of good guys out there.

  • Yes, it's very appropriate.

    More men are waking up to reality every day, discarding the Disney faerie-story bullshit and seeing marriage for what it is. A drekpile.

    The marriage rate is in a tailspin, and rather than looking at why men are refusing to get married, everyone crows about how women are putting off marriage until their eggs are dried up and any offspring they conceive have a significant risk of being miscarried or born Downsy or autistic (among other things).

    Then with the next breath they scream "Where are all the good men?"

    I'll tell you where. They're teaching younger men that everything they've been conditioned since birth to accept is all lies. They're at the gym, or on the lake, or in the bar. They're out with their friends, or starting a business, or just fucking off, traveling, enjoying life.

    What they're NOT doing is putting their head in the noose so they can be fleeced and destroyed by a woman and the court.

    Marriage has no benefits for a man, only risk and responsibility. If you and I were to form a business partnership, and our contract was basically the marriage contract, where your part of the contract mirrored the man's half of the marriage contract, any lawyer that advocated that you sign that contract would be disbarred for gross incompetence.

  • I definitely want to be married one day, and I wouldn't mind providing but at the same time I dislike the man only working. I guess it just depends on your significant other and whether they would be ok with it. If you read my story about a girl I met the other day on my profile you can understand why I wouldn't like to have to pay for everything, because her expectation was to have a guy to pay for her. But definitely I think the majority of guys would like to be married. Don't fret. Hopefully this somewhat answered your question?

  • I want to get married one day. to a kind loving confident person. Someone I make happy and does the same for me. and their are still chivalrous men out there

  • No..

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