How do I get a girlfriend?

I'm average looking, but have seen worse guys get girlfriends. But, I have no confidence to ask out a girl. I've been rejected before, but fear coming off as a creepy, desperate guy. How do I step my game up?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Order one online.
    -Sorry I just couldn''t...-

    "I've been rejected before, but fear coming off as a creepy, desperate guy"
    Maybe because you appear to be desperate.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First time's the most difficult of all. You haven't had any experience with women and might think of them as these mystical, wonderful creatures, causing the insecurities to pile up and giving you a ticket straight to the friend zone.

    There are several angles you can take to potentially improve

    The nice angle (not "nice guy") is to try to become a social butterfly. Build a diverse group of friends, work on your social skills, meet those friends of friends of friends, expand out and network. As you become increasingly well-liked among these groups of people, you'll get to hang out with women in a way that's not so awkward and can start to get comfortable enough to the point of asking them out successfully.

    A more direct but deceptive kind of angle is just kind of pretend you're not a virgin. This is kind of like emperor's new clothes. You project this sense like you're entitled and the boss of the joint, borderline arrogance, and sometimes gullible women will fall for the kind of illusion you weave. Like the emperor's new clothes, more shrewd women will realize that you're just walking around naked, but this can work if you don't take it too far to an obnoxious level. In this case, you have to kind of pretend like you're a rock star. A rock star is not going to be attentive to a girl's every need or stare at some girl from afar. He's going to approach and get what he wants with the expectation that he'll succeed.

    In both cases it helps to really look at the mirror (both literally and figure of speech) and try to analyze qualities about you that women find attractive and really project them. It's also good to kind of get a makeover and get a nice haircut, nice clothes, etc. if you can.

    It's worth remembering that women aren't attracted to men who simply care a lot for them or pay them the most attention. They're attracted to guys that project attractive qualities, same way we're attracted.

    Last but not least with the numbers game, you can look at things in terms of probability. If your odds of scoring with women are low, then you only need to increase the volume (and ideally also improve the odds by improving your appearance, approach, angle). Ask more women out and sooner and you're going to hit jackpot at some point.

    • Last but not least, that fear of rejection tends to grow the more you fantasize about a girl from afar without asking her out. Rejection is nowhere near as awkward if you approach more aggressively and sooner. It's like you can practically laugh off a rejection if it's from a near-stranger. It's really embarrassing and awkward if you get rejected by someone you grew feelings for over long periods of time and befriended.

      So it helps to start asking girls out sooner and maybe even getting rejected sooner. Even if you get rejected, the experience will help you kind of get comfortable and not so attached to the results in a way that will ultimately help everything.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • Keep asking women out until one of them eventually says yes. For a guy who isn't exceptionally good looking playing the numbers game is the only way to get dates.

    I admire you, though. I too can't approach women, but I don't even try because I have social anxiety and have no clue what what women want. So I have just gotten used to bring single! :)

  • Find confidence. The first thing would be to stop thinking of it as getting a girlfriend. Go make some female friends. It helps with the ability to talk to women. Once you have that the rest becomes easier. Hell my female friends even set me up (a lot more then I want them too).