I can't get over the fact that I made my boyfriend cry. Please help?

So tonight me and my boyfriend had a fight. It was a stupid fight over something that isn't that serious but it basically drained both of us. He ended up breaking down completely. Crying. He was trying to speak but he couldn't as he was too busy sobbing. I've never in my life seen a boyfriend of mine cry. Heck, I haven't even seen any man cry before in person. I feel like a terrible person. I didn't mean to hurt him and it wasn't my intention ever. I've apologized to him over and over again and he is alright now and we've sorted it out, kissed and made up but I'm still shaken by the fact that he cried. I'm going to work on myself and have told him so. We both have work to do in the relationship. Am I a terrible human being? How does one shake the feeling of knowing you made your partner cry?


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What Guys Said 3

  • You both are still young. He needs to kind of learn to get a hold of his emotions. It's not that he needs to stop feeling them, but not let it actually drive his outward behavior so much.

    Both of you should strive to stay calm, level-headed. I recommend snuggle therapy -- cuddle more and share your thoughts more. The guy's overly sensitive but, even in that case, usually an explosive argument is a sign that both of you lack the ability to stay calm and communicate when things get tough.

    The key to avoiding explosive arguments in relationships to me is that one person really has to defy their instincts. When you perceive being treated unfairly, the temptation is to watch to get angry, distance yourself, yell, escalate the situation, etc. Next time you catch yourself feeling like this, it's hard but try to force yourself to do the opposite thing: hug your partner and gently talk it out, gently tell why you felt you were treated unfairly, etc.

    It only takes one person to defy their instincts here to keep little problems from escalating into world war 3, but you have to do it quickly. Once you get the hang of this, you'll reach a deeper connection with each other than ever before, and also tend to avoid pissing each other off because you'll start to understand each other's thinking patterns better.

    • This was wonderful insight. Thank you so much. It means a lot to me

    • , the temptation is to watch [/to watch out for is] to get angry, distance yourself,

  • Well the fact that you're so shaken shows that you're clearly not a terrible person. And you e sorted it out now so hopefully it's all in the past

  • I think that the real core of the issue is not that you made him cry, it's that you now see him as less attractive due to this.

    Do you really feel terrible about making him cry or is it that you watched a grown man cry and now feel less respect and less attraction for him overall. Few would be able to admit this though...

    • I absolutely don't see my boyfriend as any less attractive and I actually respect him more for showing his emotions and expressing how he felt. I've never seen a man that vulnerable before and that is what shocked me about this whole thing. I am upset that I made him cry like that.

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