If I am attracted to a girl because I could be her FIRST LOVE, am I not attracted to her for HER?

I have a major delimma.

I never had a girlfriend. I never had my first love. I don't want to give my heart to a girl who has already given her's to someone else before me, especially when she was a teen at the time. I don't feel it is mutual for her to be my first love when I am not hers.

However, if I like a girl because she has never been in love before, I am not liking her for her. I am liking the fact she meets my criteria. And wouldn't a woman not like that if she knew that?

So aren't I screwed either way?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You know you're not attracted to her for her

    • I would be attracted to qualities that she has, but I would not invest myself in her if I knew she loved someone before me. So isn't the emphasis on being her first love than loving her for her?

Most Helpful Guy

  • You assume that if you like the fact that she has not had a boyfriend previously, you could not also like her because of who she is. Those two are not mutually exclusive.

    • What do you mean?

    • Show All
    • I seriously stopped seeing a girl one time because I found out she loved a guy before me. I couldnt deal with it.

    • That is a hangup that you need to overcome. Imagine if you were 61 years old and dating.

      Q. How many women at my age have never been in love but are now looking for a serious relationship.
      A. None.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Why do you have this mindset? What if she loved someone before you? I don't get you people sometimes... #smh


What Guys Said 2

  • It could be both, but if you're this obsessed with being her first love it's probably that. Why don't you give up this silly quest of yours?

    • Because a woman always remembers her first love. And first loves become more sentimental with age.

      So if I am not her first love, I dont want her to be my first love.

    • In the long run it's going to matter much more that you are compatible than that you were her first love, trust me.

  • Round 2 or a thousand

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