Why did he rejected me, when he really liked me?

Hi, had a firend (know wach other for 6 month), I know he liked me, even told to my two girlfriends, that he would call me out if I was single, 2 month ago. At that time I had a boyfriend, but it was all bad an we broke up.
He is shy but was kind to meand managed to get me out with him a few times ( friends didn’t show up, or there were few other occasions where we ended up on a dinner).
2 weeks later, he called me out, but I rejected him a few times. I had a lot of work to do, and honestly I wasn’t sure. I needed some time after my breakup. A month ago we went to a club with our friends, we slowdanced a lot. he even kissed me on my forehead, and hold me from behind for a while, and was rubbing my back during the dance. But than a friends grabbed us to dance with them, and it ended there. We never talked about this moment between us. But I felt a connection, and I think he felt it too.
After this night he called me out hiking , was very kind, helpful, texted me a lot, even called me occasionally, when I didn;t texted back quick enough. Rememberd things about me…even my number, which is rare these days.
So there were all the signs and he was trying to get to me.
We spent a lot of time together during next 2 weeks. Invited me to a concert in other state, which means a weekend stay (it’s going to be in 3 month) . And also wanted me to join him for a whole weekend at a sports tournament. And when I said I am not going because I didn’t know those people ( his friends even family!), he told me it’s ok, he will introduce me and we can get along just well. I didn't go.
I am going to post the rest in the comment, sorry I can't make it shorter :)

Last week when we went to a concert I felt that finally it is the rigth time for me. Until than it was just too soon and I was a little freaked out. But nothing happened, he was not so kind as before, and wasn’t even trying with me. I was disappointed and didn’t understand what’s going on. When we stayed alone on our way home I decided to ask him about his feelings.
So I asked him if I can have a question. He smiled at me: Sure.
So I asked: ‘Last time when we danced you gave me a kiss on my forehead. Did that mean something or it was just like in the heat of the moment?’ He looked at me and asked when. I told him.
But I know for sure he was not that drunk and remember everything. He is not the type to get sooo drunk to not remember things. He got a little nervous and told me: “Yeah I was drunk” I smiled at him and said ok :).
He continued: “I shouldn’t have to drink, I do stupid things than.”


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  • Well first of all, he didn't really tell you solidly that he liked you. All I saw you written here is "I think he did." Timing is one of the biggest matter in starting a new relationship. While he was approaching to you, you was unsure about your last relationship which I fully understand and appreciate too, so you rejected him. And he took it as a hint that you didn't like him that much. He wanted to introduce you to friends and family and obviously you felt like it's too soon and he was being a little desperate too. So as right now, he is pulling out and you kind of thinking to know him better, but, the timing was wrong, it's not there anymore. So 2 possibilities, he doesn't like you that much, that much that he would keep pursuing you no matter how longer time he needs to wait for you, and the timing is not right and just meant to be. Good luck :)

    • Do you think he can change his mind? I messaged him the next day, that I am glad we talked and we both want to be friends. And thats great. So I am going to act like a friend, but we spend a lot of time together ( we are a sports team , he is our trainer). I thought maybe if he liked me a few weeks before and was desparate, and I will act as a good and funny friend liek before, he may regret he told me I am old for him :D What do you think?

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    • Yeah I thought about it, but while he told me he doesn't want a realationship with an older girl, i thought it would be awkward to talk more about it.
      When I texted him, to be friends. I also mentioned that , I am great we discussed it, becasue I knew , what he told to my friends, and therefore I wasn't sure sometimes how to act araound him. He just answered that he is glad too. But the next day texted me, what did my friends said me exactly. I just replied, that it is not importanst anymore, and we should not dig in it anymore..

    • Well if he stated clearly he doesn't want a relationship with you, then yea don't dig into it anymore. The only thing now is how to deal with your feeling. You would feel so much better if you told him directly how you feel even though he definitely gonna reject. but at least you letter it out. How about distant yourself from him for awhile? Probably things will just fade away you guys would still be friends later on.

  • You rejected him.

    • When he said: “I shouldn’t have to drink, I do stupid things than.” I told him: “I am not saying it was stupid. I was just curious about it” I wanted to let him know it was ok.
      We sat there for a few minutes in silence, when he began: “You know, I has nothing against you, but I don’t want a relationship with an older girl. I had a girlfriend who was older than me and it didn’t worked out.” I told him that the next year I didn’t want either, after my breakup and everything going on. He looked at me surprised “Really?” I said yes.
      Than he continued there is a girl in his work he likes for a long time. will try to call her out. I tried to be friendly and told him, to try, if he didn’t try he will never know. So that’s it. I was really really shocked about his reaction and argument. Mainly with the argument. I am 31 he is 30!!! I am a year older!!!
      and I thought I made it clear that I am curious becasue I may like him... :(