New at online dating. What's your take?

So i've been talking to this girl for about a month and a half now. I met her online and I went out on two dates with her already and both dates went well, she said that she's attracted to me but wants to take things slow which i'm fine with. It's been about 2 years since I dated someone so i'm new to all this and need some insight.

So on the last date she told me that she is going to visit her family next week in the Philippines and will be gone for a month. She said that she wants to keep in contact with me during that time which I was happy about. So the next day I asked her if it's ok if I can see her one last time before she leaves but she told me that she was going to be to busy to see me. In which I said that's ok. So i Waited two days and texted her the day before her trip, I sent her a text just telling her that I hope she has fun on her trip and to keep in contact with me and that I would like to hangout with her when she comes back. It's been 3 days and I still haven't got a response for her. Then I went online to the dating app I met her at and I saw that she was online and I just felt weird LOL. Is this how online dating is? If you don't like someone you just ignore them? I'm not gonna go all psycho and start messaging her or sending her a lot of texts i'm not that guy. But it hurts a little.

Should I wait a week and message her on how her trip is going? or just move on? (She's never been in a relationship before)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I will say before she is actually in a relationship with you, she deserves the right to go onto any dating apps she wants and she is not obligated to text you especially when she is travelling. I understand the feeling you are having though, its obviously you have more feelings than she does. When it has imbalance, someone does feel hurt while the other one wonder why you feel that way. So if she is pretty or attractive, she may be talking or going on dates with bunch of different guys, she hinted you she wants to take things slow, the hidden meaning is she is making choice because she has choices. If you want her, I suggest you to slower your pace, just like her. Dont make her feel like you are eager at meeting her. Online dating works only when you have a stong and stable mentality as the one you talk to, has that personality she made you to feel like it, and you thought like it, but its not like it in the real life. Take some time, if you dont hear from her after she is back, move on of coursr, dont waste time. At the mean time, you can try to talk to different people as well, in a casual way, just like you are making friends or killing time. Feel better..:) Good luck..

    • Thank you for that. I will slow down. Everyone keeps telling me that she "ghosted me." But i'm not to sure. I probably won't text her and she if she will text me.

    • I talk much less when I travel back to Hong Kong to visit my family. So I understand there is a possibility that she is really enjoying her time with her family. Wait a little till she comes back, too soon to say anything.:)

    • i will thanks!

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that is how dating sometimes works whether you met online or IRL. I have learned to try to not get too invested, too excited about someone new I meet, even if she is the cat's pajamas, because this kind of stuff can happen. I got ghosted last year by a lady I met for a first date and we REALLY had a spectacularly good first date.

  • Don't message her any more. Not if you have a shred of self-respect.

    Of course, if you had that, you wouldn't be scraping the bottom of the barrel with online dating anyway, so... I guess you can disregard the above.

    *I* sure as hell wouldn't message her any more.

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