How to let a girl know I just want to hook up?

Ok I'm 20 and I've only been in serious relationships.

I have no problem attracting girls, but every time a girl likes me or wants to be with me they want a relationship.

I'm in a stage of my life where I don't want a relationship and just want to have fun, hook up etc.

I don't want to feel I'm leading women on or using them. I only want to hookup with women who are ok with that. I don't want to manipulate a woman who is looking for a relationship. I think thats wrong to lie to her.

So how exactly do I let a women know that I'm only looking for sex without leading them on, and how do I get my desires intentions across without coming off as a creep or pervert and scaring them away?

Also How would it work for you if hypothetically a guy wanted to hook up with you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • In theory, you'll hear a lot of good advice. In practice, this is a catch 22 situation.

    If your "too" direct and "honest," then the girl "shits on your soul" outright. If you're reasonably clear and the girl completely understands, but then later wants a relationship with you, then she's going to use anything you said (or failed to say) against you in reframing you to everyone (including yourself) as someone that lied to her, manipulated her, and used her. Remember, it's the calling for most women to try and win the Academy Award for best martyr and victim.

    Either way, 90% of girls you're going to have sex with are going to "shit of your soul" in some form or another, because they (a) do not want to feel like a slut, and (b) want to always feel like a martyr and victim. Just learn to deal with it. It comes with the territory. Think of it like the emotional blackmail you have to become immune to. A large part of it is just an attempt to indirectly guilt trip you and pressure you into having a relationship. So, learn to be immune to it like a clown fish is to a coral's poison.

    I'm married now, but when I was single and out of high school, I would use my uncle's formula (he was a womanizer).

    (1) you have to have an excuse as to why you're emotionally unavailable, otherwise women will see you as relationship potential (and sex will be off the table for the next 3 months) ... I just don't want a relationship does not computer with women, you need another reason they can process and share with their friends;

    (2) you have to start with that story, an ex that scorned you, a difficult breakup, being cheated on, etc. You have to present yourself as being completely incapable of and uninterested in a "relationship" with a woman ever again;

    (3) that way, if she chooses to interact with you any further, it's clear to both of you that the only reason for that is sex;

    (4) you have to reinforce this verbally, to prevent or mitigate her shitting on your soul as much as possible later on, and to remind her that a relationship with you is not going to happen!

    (5) if you feel the need to express love and affection, do it only through sex. If you want to buy her something, limit it to underwear and high heels.


What Girls Said 1

  • The only thing you can do is be honest about your intentions. That is the only thing you have control on and the only thing you should ever fell guilt about.

    If they do not hear you or choose to misunderstand your intentions that is on them. As long as you were clear, you should feel no guilt about it.

    Most women aren't built for casual. And there will be a lot that say they are but they really aren't. As long as you are always honest, you are not ever at fault for them not being able to handle it. They were fully informed. They made their decision.

    As to how to let her know... you could try what one guy tried on me. When I told him I wanted to be more than sex friends he told me he was at a point in his life where various women found him attractive and he wanted to take advantage of that. He then went on to sing, "You can't always get what you want" by the Stones. lol!

    Now that is honesty. :) I look back fondly on the moment even though I would not get what I want. lol!


What Guys Said 0

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