Why did she go cold so suddenly?

I wen’t on a date with a girl and it went very well. We talked and talked, she was cuddling up to me, and we had a long make out session at the end before saying goodbye. It was very obvious that she liked me and I liked her. My only concern was that she mentioned her ex a couple times and also mentioned she just got out of a relationship. So a couple days later I go ahead and schedule a second date with her and she said yes. However, on the day of the second date she sent me a text saying she’s not gonna be able to make it and she’s not in the right place/time to be seeing people. I replied by saying that I’ll give her space but I can’t wait for her even though I wanted to. (I was trying to be nice about it) The last thing she said to me was “I will let you know if anything changes.” And that was that, I haven’t contacted her in a week. Should I ever contact her? Should I wait and see if she contacts me? Is this a test? What do you think happened? Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's not ready for a relationship. She was honest about it and told you that she can't really see anyone right now. And that's ok, she seems like a nice girl since she could have just as easily simply lead you on and then vanished without saying anything.
    Chasing this girl won't help, so no, I don't think contacting her will help, or is a good idea in general. You can wait around for her to contact you, since she did say she'll let you know when/if she feels ready. Or you could just move on and find someone else. It's really up to you. But contacting her is probably not so smart since you clearly want more, and she doesn't.

    • Then why did she go on a date in the first place?

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    • not for the same reasons you describe. we do it because we don't like a girl or we are putting her on the backburner in case someone else doesn't work out.

    • Those might also be reasons but that doesn't mean guys don't take a while to figure out what they want. This has happened to me with one guy, and I've seen my brother do it too. It happens.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • BREH. She's playing you. Trust me I know I dated her type.
    She "just got out of a relationship"
    Lemme tell you. If she "just broke up" do you think she's gonna give you a long make out session so easily? Hell nah.

    And her mentioning her "ex"?
    Not a cool sign bro. Not at all. Move on

    • How is she playing him when she was upfront about her feelings and let him know she's not ready for anything serious? A player would pretend to be up for anything but then bail without a word when the topic of commitment comes up.

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    • @lumos you heard the man

    • It wouldn't work out NOW. If it worked out now you'd still be dating.

  • you said her ex is still on her mind so i think you answered your own question. give her some time