Guy and I had intense and noticeable chemistry, I liked him, became flirty friends acted differently with each other than others/he was overly sensitive to how I acted with him. About a 1 1/2 month into our friendship he said he and his "friend" broke up which was shady to me as he never talked about a girlfriend.
A wk later his attention on me hit 100 & he pursued more-for the next 3/4 wks we texted everyday for hrs, he said he liked me, he kissed me, told me to give him positive encouragement not mixed signals, etc.
2 wks after kiss he texts me saying he was a mess from his breakup&wasn't ready to be anything to anyone/we were friends and he didn't want to be misleading, etc. We had a long convo over text, me saying I felt like a rebound/he had been shady about the girlfriend who he called his friend/why he said he liked me if he didn't. He kept apologizing and i said i needed space to get over my feelings then we could see about friendship----
That was 7 wks ago & we've briefly talked once which was last week, I snapped him 1st as I was with a girl who knew him from HS (also a little drunk), and figured that'd be a good way to diffuse some of the awkwardness before I have to see him in 2 days to do this project (only 5 of us) for multiple hours at a time once a week for the next 3 weeks. (Plus when school starts back we have a class everyday and we are in the same 4 person friend group)
Anyways, I thought i was ready to see him but I am freaking out. I have no idea how to act. He always sees right through whatever front I put up. He's always super awkward when I am upset with him but i want to feel in control. Those few months were intense and I had no idea what was going on, only to be rejected so I kinda feel played. I also feel a little dumb because we never even dated and I still got hurt when Im sure he's fine.
Does anyone have any insight into this whole situation or advice for seeing him again?
Sorry this is so whiny but seriously any advice is appreciated!!
Most Helpful Guy
so the relationship is awkard because you both were attracted, but he is still emotionally and possibly relationally connected to his old girlfriend. you got upset (snapped) because you were a rebound girl/bridge girl (between prior girl and next) and you felt deceived as he didn't completely end the prior relationship before talking with you and it took several weeks for him to be honest about where he was at. reality is, he was in trouble in prior relationship and you were a positive, at the time, that made him feel good... but then he fessed up and backed off.
there has been nothing beyond a kiss right... then I'd say this is ok. if it went farther than that, then you made a bigger mess. Do I have the scenario right?
Bottom line, he is immature and still wounded or connected to the prior girl. he isn't available. you made him feel good and he basically used you. you allowed yourself to be used.
So, if you are angry, then go to counseling to sort out your feelings and learn to develop better boundaries with guys. look at him differently, not as an attractive guy, but as a wounded boy. it is hard when there are feelings intermixed... the more intimate you got, the worse this is. if you got very intimate, you may not be able to be on the same team/class as him without talking this out... possibly with a counselor or together.
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